March 30th, 2010 | Radio

Download: Captain Ahab “I Don’t Have A Dick”
(from The End Of Irony out April 6 on Deathbomb Arc)

Download: Captain Ahab “Acting Hard”
(from The End Of Irony out April 6 on Deathbomb Arc)

The first two songs off Captain Ahab’s new album use penis imagery to instruct on ways of being a mensch. Captain Ahab has written the future of sacred music, the church of exposed pubes and existential sunglasses. Maybe it’s a language we can all understand better. “Acting Hard” takes a choral vs hip hop machine gun approach, while “I Don’t Have A Dick” is the soundtrack to Mortal Combat: the Miami fetish edition.

The End Of Irony album cover alone is worth staring at for an extended period of time, shot by Sarah Sitkin. It’s so ferociously business, we had to ask Captain Ahab’s Jonathan Snipes to break it down for our fragile minds. He did well:

Jonathan Snipes:
“Sarah, Jim Merson (bandmate), and I came up with the idea together.  The theme of the album is rooted in religion—it’s pulled from my personal experiences growing up in Seventh Day Adventism, SDA’s ties to cultism (Koresh & the Branch Dividians particularly), and conflating religious iconography and fervor with fetishy record-collecting and music fandom.  Because the songs on the record are written to be the foundation of a new canon of sacred music, we wanted the cover to visually represent that conception of the cult of Captain Ahab.

“Hence, you have three worlds represented in the photograph—myself (in the white tux) as the spiritual world, the platonic world of absolute idea, Jim (on the table) as a liminal being (philosopher/prophet), being inspired by and interpreting the ideas from above, and the eight human figures, as the immediate physical world—representing the eight founding tribes of our religion.

“The umbilical cord that binds the idea to the prophet is attached to my dick because we a) wanted to confuse the idea of Jim’s birth—instead of immaculate conception, our prophet is born of divine phallus, which makes little to no sense (though isn’t really that much stupider of an idea than a virgin woman spontaneously giving birth), and b) thought it would be really funny & help to undermine the pretension of the concept/mythology.  We want to communicate both grandiose ideas, and total silliness at the same time, without making it look like a mockery. The End of Irony is about embracing the outlandish and preposterous without shame; loving the ridiculous without feeling guilty.  This is a very sincere and serious presentation of completely far-fetched ideas.  Just like religious mythology.”

We should take a moment and consider that perhaps we are a living Bible, and the ideas we have are the spontaneous births of our lord. Love thyself. Amen.