AUDACITY: SO CUTE, REALLY CUTE
Audacity “I Killed Gerald Ford”
Audacity come from Fullerton where they break computers at house parties (on accident) and witness (but not instigate) bottle-breaking brawls at the downtown train station. They record at Costa Mesa’s storied Distillery, do Redd Kross and Dicks covers, and will be releasing their first vinyl as a split with thee Makeout Party any day now. They speak now over gourmet burgers.
Audacity’s first record is coming out—is this your first interview, too?
Kyle Gibson (guitar/vocals): We’ve only done interviews for school newspapers, and Cameron wrote an article for a Fullerton newspaper about us.
You were a fan before you were in the band?
Cameron Crowe (bass): Well, I just wrote the article.
K: It was just a job.
How far back does Audacity go?
Mat Schmalfeld (guitar/vocals): 2001—we started out without know anything. We took lessons to be in the band.
K: We started in sixth grade.
Who is more important to the band—Captain Beefheart or the Adolescents?
M: The Adolescents.
C: I made out with Frank Agnew’s daughter.
K: It was really romantic—they’d roll across the floor from one corner to another.
Thomas Alvarez (drums): Her boyfriend will kick your ass, though.
Do you want to be the first band beat up because of an L.A. RECORD interview?
T: That guy probably couldn’t even read.
What do you want the first album to sound like?
K: We like all the stuff Mike does at the Distillery.
M: Kind of shitty but very…
What’s an album like that?
M: Born Innocent.
If you had to give up your Dicks cover or your Redd Kross cover, which would you keep?
M: Redd Kross.
K: It’s funner to play. And it doesn’t have ‘Dicks’ in the title. But if we had to pick between funny good-time punk bands and serious punk—we like both kinds, but we like the perfect combo between fun and—
M: Black Flag.
K: Or artsy or whatever. But we go more for the fun.
What’s the difference between playing a friend’s house and a stranger’s house?
M: The comfort level is a lot different.
K: I’m less scared about fucking up a dresser or a TV. I knocked over an entire computer at a party. It was sitting on a table with the monitor and the modem and everything.
C: They already weren’t happy when we got there—I’d used the wrong bathroom.
What’s the most damage you ever caused in five minutes?
K: A 21 and over place.
C: They’d told us we could play, but then they told us we couldn’t when we got there.
M: But Kyle and Thomas and Cameron made it in.
K: It was a basement in Chinatown. So Mat tried to sneak in. We started playing first, just the three of us, and Mat ran down the stairs to the basement and the owner freaks out and cuts the power and has a flashlight.
M: So I run back up the stairs like ‘Suck my dick, you fucking asshole!’ And he starts chasing me and rips off his shirt in front of me and starts yelling about his brothers in the Chinese mafia, and I run away and so I’m on my own on the streets for a while.
What’s important to keep in mind if you might have to run away from someone like that?
M: Make sure you have a cell phone. And don’t worry about forgetting anything. If you have a cell phone, you can call your friends.
What’s the most peaceful show?
K: An elementary school. And we played my dad’s house acoustic.
C: To two belligerently drunk high-class women. Drunk on red wine.
M: With puppy-dog eyes.
What’s the nicest present you ever got your parents?
M: Once I painted jewelry boxes for both parents, with like art drawings on them, and they liked them. And walking sticks.
K: Thomas, what’s the nicest thing you ever got your dad?
T: Fuck my dad.
What’s the first order of business at a Burger Records meeting?
K: ‘You guys wanna get stoned?’
C: And then food.
K: ‘But for real, we love you guys—you’re young—we can feel your energy! You’re horny!’
C: ‘Let’s get horny right now!’
At what point did you decide they were the right organization for you?
C: I haven’t noticed any organization. But they like music. They’re dedicated.
T: And they’re so cute. Really cute.
Do you have as much Fullerton pride as Anaheim has Anaheim pride?
M: It’s more like Southern California pride.
K: There’s lot of stuff we don’t like about Orange County.
You don’t like something about Orange County?
K: We get yelled at. ‘Hey, fag!’
T: ‘Cut your hair, faggot!’
K: One of the last parties we played, Danny pulled a knife.
Did things get more polite?
Danny: They were a bunch of high school football jocks who were trying to get crazy, like, ‘Who poured that water on me?!’ So I took a switchblade my brother got me in Italy—it’s classy! And the guy was scared but impressed. ‘Oh, whoa. Wow.’
Is that the first time you pulled a knife on someone?
D: The first time I told anyone.
What’s the most resonant thing someone ever told you?
M: ‘You suck.’
K: ‘Don’t worry, it’ll get better. Your effort is good!’
What’s the only thing standing between you and your first tour?
K: High school.
There is a solution.
C: Yeah, but we’re so close—we might as well finish.
K: I’ll be 18 tomorrow.
Are you looking forward to your first legal lottery ticket?
K: I’m bad with gambling.
AUDACITY WITH THE TRADITIONAL FOOLS, A.M., PTERODACDUDES AND THEE MAKEOUT PARTY ON SAT., APRIL 26, AT THE SMELL, 247 S. MAIN ST., LOS ANGELES. 9 PM / $5 / ALL AGES. THESMELL.ORG. THE AUDACITY / THEE MAKEOUT PARTY SPLIT 7” WILL RELEASE LATER THIS MONTH. VISIT AUDACITY AT MYSPACE.COM/AUDACITYCA.