Ramon Sampson, the 19 year-old winner of Guitar Center’s 2010 Drum Off, kicked out the beat to “Smooth Criminal” as he coyly slipped on a single white glove. Michael McGrath played a lightning-fast portion of his set on his feet and only on the cymbals. Troy Molsberry tossed and caught his drumsticks so many times while playing that I couldn’t tell if I was feeling excitement or nauseating terror that he would drop one. Only marginally less terrifying were Stanley Jamal Hampton’s drumstick tricks. Eugene McBride tore the shirt he was wearing down the front a la Chris Brown and draped it over his face for the last half of his set.

Despite all their cymbal-flipping, drumstick-twirling bravado, the Drum-Off finalists swathed themselves in almost Christ-like humility. They were unanimously loathe to even consider what might set them apart from the competition. The most explosive answer blushingly proffered by several contestants was that their drumming style was “unique.” Luckily, their routines were explosive enough to more than compensate for the disinclination to Muhammed Ali-like shit talking.

That may have something to do with the fact that Guitar Center succeeded in finding regular Joes with real talent. Eugene McBride and Stanley Jamal Hampton grew up playing for their local churches. Troy Molsberry is a software engineer who managed to squeeze 4 or more hours a day of practice in around family time and his job. Las Vegas-resident Michael McGrath has a day job and drums by night. This competition had the potential to be life-changing for all of the finalists, and they played like it.

The competition was, for its format and aforementioned gravity, much more exciting than the rest of the show. A parade of famous drummers cycled through a sort of drum beat karaoke, in which DJ Aero played parts of famous songs from the performers’ bands and others with the drum lines cut out.

Interspersed between the Legends of Drums was Tommy Lee and Frank Zummo’s Guitar Center-commissioned special performance: “Bezerk!” complete with the USC marching band drum corps, a dwarf in a sparkly shirt and wig, and Tommy Lee, Frank Zummo of Street Drum Corps and Co. rappelling down vertical grilles flanking the stage playing pipes attached to the structure. Even the collaborative performance of VOLTO! with Tool’s Danny Carey and Brann Dailor of Mastodon left something to be desired in terms of showcasing their phenomenal talents.

The competition felt like the Olympics. I wanted replays and close-ups, commentator analysis and a hushed wait for each of their scores with a camera trained on the breathless competitor. The rest of the event felt like the Gong Show meets industry showcase.

—Ayse Arf