The Kills by Carlton Beener

Dear Rock Concert Gods,

I’ve put off writing this letter to you due to my admiration, love, and passion for good music. But it’s time. Please, dear gods that rule our eyes and ears—our hearts and our dancing feet—can you please put a cap on how many a-holes are allowed per venue per show? I’ve been to so many shows lately where the bands rock it to the max while the audience stands staring like a vacuous black hole of suckage. If you plan to grow roots in the middle of the dance floor only so that you can stare at the band with an “I just pooped my pants” expression, please, leave.

Having said that, I’d like to personally thank you, gods of straight up Rock and Roll for the Henry Fonda Friday the 22nd of May night train to rock-town. I jumped out on the dance floor with a drink that matched the pink and red lights that veiled the boyish Horrors on the stage. The five skinny mods danced minimally as they emitted deep, dark, droning music with hints of ‘60s garage rock. I had a hard time not staring at the bassist who, with a slightly disheveled bowl-cut and a striped black and white shirt, looked like a mannequin from the ‘80s. From their name to their music to their clothes, these British tater tots are skilled but raw musicians and talented performers. Proof that a good band is composed of artists who are both good musicians and good actors, The Horrors brought the proverbial “it.”

The Horrors’ theatricality led fluently into The Kills set. Both in name and in spirit, these two bands drop it like it’s cold, deep, dark, and handsome. Alison Mosshart knows how to handle the hipster crowd, seductively spewing lyrics from underneath her sweat beaded long dark hair. Jamie Hince, the musical Fred Astaire to Alison’s Ginger Rogers, feeds the ever-hungry rock crowd with his steady guitar riffs and occasional dapper vocals. Chronology never sounded so good—If The Horrors danced me into the 1960’s—The Kills kicked me into the punky, grainy 1970’s.

So, despite a sometimes bitchy and mostly unmoved (and unmoving, physically) audience, The Horrors and The Kills delivered. Alison Mosshart’s cover of Patsy Cline’s “Crazy” and Screamin’ Jay Hawkins’ “I Put a Spell on You” are definitely worth mentioning. She and Jamie Hince kept the integrity of each song while simultaneously Killing it. And, in a collective finale, The Kills had The Horrors came out on stage for an animalistic game of each lead singer singing “Baby, Please Don’t Go” back and forth to the other while circling him/her. Just like in the rock jungle, the game ended in a (female) Kill attacking the lead Horror in a jumping maneuver that left the Horror immobilized on the ground beneath the lead Kill. (P.S. Thanks, Rock Gods, ladies always win.)

—Linda Janota + [Photos]