JAN 26
SPECIAL UN MUSIC REPORT

When life gives you lemons and rain you make lemonade and wet t-shirt contests but apparently nobody told that to the Monster Jam Monster planners! What I thought was going to be a muddy mess of chaos at Anaheim stadium for monster jam turned out to be a much tamer version of the amazing America fuck yeah i saw last year. While Grave Digger tried hard to re Nazi the field the rest of the gang was lack luster. Though the Donkey Kong truck was rather impressive and the always homo erotic Tropical Thunder tried as hard as he could to give the crowd a reach around but it just wasn’t good enough. In short the jumps were weak and there was nothing really big to smash. God knows Cleavon and I love it when big things go boom while we sip on our Mountain Dew. Hell even the jet powered truck didn’t make a lap and there was a lack of chicks in pick ups shooting soon to be thrift store Glamis barf rags into the crowd. In the end one car almost caught on fire and two others flipped over but nothing really broke. Also whats up with the Shattered truck? From the looks of it he built his ride with monster truck food stamps and spare parts that Grave Digger has dropped along the way. But if one thing was clear its that Cleavon is alive and breeding at an ever rapid rate and populating the world with Brawndo drinking kids who don’t want your toilet water!