Download: Scott H. Biram “Time Flies”

(from Something’s Wrong/Lost Forever out now on Bloodshot)

Scott H. Biram is an American hollerer with a bunch of room to himself between David Allan Coe and Jack Oblivian. He likes Black Flag but sometimes he gets weird and reedy like Dock Boggs, and he decides here that he is probably not going to take shrooms again for a little bit. This interview by Sarah Bennett.

Do you still have your ’65 Ranchero?
Scott H. Biram: I’m sitting in it now. It was pretty beat up when I got it but I had it redone and they kinda ripped me off and didn’t do as good a job as they should have. But my cousin builds hot rods and works at this badass shop and he had it for three weeks and fixed it all up and it’s badass.
Do you collect old cars?
Scott H. Biram: No, this was actually my uncle’s—he died in ’99 and I bought it from my aunt. It was just sitting in the carport for five or six years. He was only the second owner and the old man, Mr. McCoy, who owned it before—my grandfather says he remembers when that old man bought the car brand new and drove it into town and no one had ever seen anything like it before.
What town was that?
Scott H. Biram: Until I was 10, I lived in a small town called Prairie Lee—population 100 people. There was a schoolhouse with grades kindergarten through twelfth grade all in one big building. There were fourteen kids in my class. I moved to San Marcos, Texas, when I was 10—a college town—and I grew up there. Plus I did a lot of traveling with the folks too, so I didn’t get the whole hick thing.
You’ve openly attacked the ‘hick’ stereotype. You have an art degree, right?
Scott H. Biram: Some people just automatically think I’m some kind of dumb redneck because of my moustache, but no—I went to college at Southwest Texas State University in San Marcos. It’s a state university now. David Yow—the singer for Jesus Lizard—is also from there. He was quite a bit older than me, but we still had the same art teacher who did a couple of Jesus Lizard album covers and he just did my most recent one, too.
Do you still do any visual art?
Scott H. Biram: No, I got burned out in college and didn’t want to do any more art after that. I still do T-shirt designs, but that’s about as far as that goes. I was a painting major and I did collage—weird collage. I made some little tiny roasted turkeys one time.
Where did music come in? I read that you got into Stevie Wonder first and demanded a Casio keyboard for Christmas.
Scott H. Biram: I don’t know where I would have said that, but yeah. When I was a little kid I heard ‘Superstitious’ and I was like, ‘What is that?’ It didn’t sound like a keyboard and my mom told me it was a synthesizer and I said, ‘I want one of those.’ So, yeah—I started playing keyboards first.
You’ve been in a lot of physical accidents—including the Great French Gas Station Leg Break of ’09. Does your pain tolerance ever improve?
Scott H. Biram: Nah, I don’t like pain. Most of the stuff happened to me back in 2003 with my big wreck when I broke every limb in my body except for my left arm. It was pretty wild. And so in February, I broke my other leg and they put rods in that one. Now I’m like the bionic redneck or something.
How much metal is in your body? How much does it weigh?
Scott H. Biram: It’s titanium so it’s not really heavy, but I have a rod through the center of the bone of my right lower leg and a plate in my left knee with about eight screws. I have a titanium rod through my right leg through the center of my right femur and another plate on my forearm with more screws in it. But as far as pain goes, my tolerance for Vicodin is way high now. I took one the other night and it didn’t do anything to me.
What about morphine?
Scott H. Biram: They didn’t give me any this last time, but when I was in the first time, they had me on so much morphine for the first week that I thought I was locked in a feed store behind enemy lines. I was in a military hospital, too, so everyone had their fatigues on.
You recovered alone this time, right?
Scott H. Biram: I’m always alone. I’m like stir-crazy in my own head. My dog thinks I’m crazy because I’ve been whispering to myself. I’ll be thinking something then I’ll whisper it and my dog will look at me like, ‘What are you doing?’
Is it hard to adjust to the inherent social aspects of going on tour?
Scott H. Biram: When I go out by myself in regular situations not playing music, I can get nervous. I don’t like to be around people—meeting their families and stuff like that—it just makes me nervous. But when I’m on the road, it’s like having a birthday party for you every night. You’re the guest of honor and they’re giving you food and beer and showing me their titties and stuff.
Do you believe that bad things happen to you because you were a bad person in a past life?
Scott H. Biram: No. I just feel like I have shit luck. I’m not a clumsy person. When I slipped in France, it was because the gas company makes their pumps with tile flooring on it so they’re slippery as fuck.
If you did have a past life who do you think you’d be?
Scott H. Biram: Not a truck driver; probably a carpenter. I’m good at building things. If I was somebody else before, I would be just an anybody that didn’t stand out too much—a person living a humble life. I just don’t feel any extraordinary background coming to me from any past life. But I’ve been told I have an old soul.
Do you agree with the statement that ‘America in 2009 is a place and time when it isn’t hard to have the blues’?
Scott H. Biram: I’ve been having a little bit of trouble writing lately, but I started recording a new record just a couple of weeks ago. It was three years between my last two records, so if I can finish this one in the next seven or eight months, I’ll be doing good. I’m feeling a little punk rock again. I’ve been trying to write some minute punk songs—just straight-up punk rock hollerin’. It goes with my lack of inspiration somehow. If I just yell some words out and play some really Black Flag-sounding shit, I could write a shitload of those songs. I know there are a few people who miss the wild and crazy me because the last record had a lot of ballad songs on there. They say, ‘We miss the rowdy, grind-y style,’ so I don’t mind showing them it’s still there—and then throwing a couple of lonely ones in there too. The one I already recorded for the new album is kind of like a lonely, driving-across-the-desert-at-night song.
Do the ballads come from recording alone in your home studio?
Scott H. Biram: No. It’s because I’m depressed. I’m depressed as fuck. I’ve been depressed forever. I’m jaded too. I have no love interests at all and that’s a little depressing too, that I’ve given up on that shit.
You could try not spending so much time alone? Your dog can’t help you meet people.
Scott H. Biram: That’s why I’m taking acting classes. I’ve been filming a demo for a horror movie that’s coming out where I’m a serial killer truck driver.
Joyride?
Scott H. Biram: It’ll be more like Texas Chainsaw Massacre but where I’m a truck driver. I went to Nashville to film this scene and in 16-degree weather I hung a girl by some hooks in a barn. I’ve been thinking I really want to get into this acting thing—get my mind off of music for a little bit—so I’ve been looking into these classes at the city college here in town. And I think I can meet people in a setting that’s not at a bar.
But then you’re meeting actresses who are really good at faking things.
Scott H. Biram: Yeah, well, I’m good at faking shit too. But, really, I like girls who are actresses because they have a career idea and they want to do something with their lives.
They also tend to take care of their bodies more because it might end up on camera.
Scott H. Biram: That’s awesome.
You could go to the titty bar to meet women.
Scott H. Biram: It’s not that you can’t pick up chicks at a titty bar—unless you got coke—but it’s just a waste of money. We hit one once every tour because we’re bored.
You’re in Austin now, but are there any other cities you would consider living in?
Scott H. Biram: I love San Francisco. I like the way it looks. I like coming over one of those hills and seeing the bay down below. It’s one place I feel like I can breathe; when I’m home or in other cities, I feel like I’m not taking as deep of breaths as I should. I drove through Louisiana once where all the refineries are and my nose started bleeding.
How does L.A. stack up?
Scott H. Biram: I like going to L.A. I don’t want to live in L.A. I don’t like the traffic. Every friend I know who moves there within two months is wearing a spiked belt.
What’s one way someone from L.A. could not look so out-of-place in the South?
Scott H. Biram: Well, I can’t speak for the South because Texas is not the South.
The United States of Texas?
Scott H. Biram: It’s just such a big place and there’s so many different places and different kinds of people in Texas. I’m not all about that ‘seceding from the Union’ bullshit, but it is its own entity. To me, there’s the South, Texas, the Southwest and the West. If you want to blend in in Austin, you just have to have a bunch of tattoos.
What job did you have to quit to do music full-time?
Scott H. Biram: I was a cook at the Town Square Deli in Wimberley, Texas. My last job was Christmas Eve, 2001. I was supposed to get off two hours early and I got off two hours late and I looked into the restaurant and everyone was gone except the owners and their friends drinking mimosas and having a good old time and I was back there washing dishes and late for my Christmas Eve at my parent’s house. So I said I quit without my two weeks. Told them that they wouldn’t like the way I’m going to act the next two weeks if I stay here.
Was that the worst job you ever had?
Scott H. Biram: The worst job I had would either be the pawn shop or the Goodwill. At Goodwill, I sorted through all the shit that gets donated. It’s all dirty from people’s garages and I have this thing when my hands get dust on them, I feel weird—like this claustrophobic feeling. I don’t mind oil or gasoline on them, but if they get some kind of dry stuff, it makes me freak out. They told me I needed to clean the men’s restroom and I just walked out.
What about the pawn shop?
Scott H. Biram: That was just depressing. There was this crazy guy in my art class and he got crazier and crazier and one time he came into the pawn shop and he pawned a bunch of guns and I was like, ‘This guy does not need to have guns.’
Do you still get inspiration from the CB radio?
Scott H. Biram: Well, I haven’t had my CB in a while, but five minutes of listening to it, there’s something that’s worth it. That’s where I got the title of the last record. ‘Lost Forever’ came from this trucker saying, ‘We’re gonna be lost forever!’ and the ‘Something’s Wrong’ comes from when me and my friends were on mushrooms in high school and my friend’s curled up in a ball screaming, ‘Something’s wrong!’
Which is better—LSD or shrooms?
Scott H. Biram: Well, after last Halloween, I don’t know if I’ll take shrooms again. The mushrooms freaked me out. I played this festival. There were a thousand people there and I came by myself and I didn’t know anybody. Somebody gave me some shrooms and we went to this campfire—it was a campout festival. There were all these hippies and there were people playing drums and shit. I had just played but I didn’t know anybody and I kept hearing my name being called. When I tried to find my van I got lost in the woods. I should have seen it coming—me coming alone and getting lost in the woods on mushrooms. I also locked myself in a porta-potty for half an hour to try and get my shit together.
No more psychedelics?
Scott H. Biram: I’ll drop some acid again, but I smoke pot and drink and that’s about it. Except for New Year’s Eve—that’s another story. Last year we were in New Orleans. A quarter-hit of acid, a party in a mansion and I got really drunk and started walking through the Garden District and wandered into some bars where I stayed until the sun came up.
You seem to end up on a lot of solo adventures.
Scott H. Biram: Sometimes I put myself in these places to make myself do things so that I’ll have stories to tell. I’m a really good storyteller. I remember little details and things from when I was 3 all the way up through high school and college. And I like to tell stories and I can’t shut up.
Good thing you can write songs about them.
Scott H. Biram: Yeah, but then I tell more stories between songs and people yell at me to shut up and play. It’s funnier in France where they have no idea what I’m saying.

SCOTT H. BIRAM WITH THE DIRT DAUBERS ON SAT., FEB. 6, AT SPACELAND, 1717 SILVERLAKE BLVD., SILVER LAKE. 8:30 PM / $8-$10 / 21+. CLUBSPACELAND.COM. SCOTT H. BIRAM’S SOMETHING’S WRONG/LOST FOREVER IS OUT NOW ON BLOODSHOT. VISIT SCOTT H. BIRAM AT SCOTTBIRAM.COM OR MYSPACE.COM/SCOTTHBIRAM.

The night opened up with Flowers Forever from Omaha, NE, whose alterna-punk styling I unfortunately only caught a song of. But it was interesting enough for me to look up their Myspace the next day. Their sound feels very ’94, kinda Violent Femmes,  kinda Jane’s Addiction, but updated and original. They’re playing the Troubadour in June and it’s already on my calender.

Next up was Elf Power. This Athens Georgia band draws upon many influences, ending up something like the Lemonheads meets Deerhunter with some Troggs thrown in for sex appeal. Most impressive was the second guitarist’s double duty on synth and the bass player’s perfect bass lines: not show-offy look-how-fast-my-fingers-move lines, just well written and integral to the power of the songs. Elf Power’s command over the audience was evident, as no one walked away and everyone seemed transfixed. Still, they couldn’t seem to break the invisible barrier that kept the crowd five feet away. But they were good, really good.

By the time Bodies of Water went on, the crowd was thick and pressed up against the stage, everyone eager to hear the sound the band describes as ABBA meets the Muppets. In other words, intricately crafted pop, minus the cocaine and heavy on the WTF?! The first and last time I saw Bodies of Water was outside Mohawk Patio last month at SXSW, where I watched them from the sidewalk through holes in a fence. That night they opened the set with “We Are Coexisters,” a wonderful song that opens with a powerful chant and transitions seamlessly into a soft, sweet, folk ballad reminiscent of mellow Jefferson Airplane, which picks up again upon the lead of the drums and rhythmic vocals that all collide back into the chant: “We are coexistors, living here below together.” Unfortunately this song didn’t make it into the Spaceland show, but that was easily forgiven since every tune played by Bodies of Water is a fantastic spectacle. Their songs’ structure and vocal arrangements are complex and creative, even bizarre at times. Qualities that make their shows amazing, even when no one in the audience is moving.

— Vanessa Gonzalez

Neil Hamburger is officially America’s unofficial funnyman. He just released an album of country songs on Drag City and speaks now with Kevin Ferguson somewhere near Paso Robles.

Have you spoken with the ex-wife?
Only through attorneys. Not directly. There’s just a lot of reasons—legal reasons—that we can’t talk. And there’s really not much to go over; we were barely speaking during the last few years of the marriage anyway, what with my touring and her refusal to answer the phone when I called, so now it’s all down to the attorneys. And they speak to each other quite often.
Have you been dating?
No, I don’t have any time for that, honestly. I’m awful busy with the shows and things, and also nobody would be interested.
How is your daughter doing?
She’s not a happy person. She’s not a big fan of me and what I do. A lot of these people you think are your friends, they really don’t have your best interests at heart. I mean, she hasn’t been to one of my shows in many years, and that’s the least a person can do.
Do you plan on touring the Third World again?
I’ll go where I’m needed. I don’t know if I often am needed anymore. It seems like there a lot of problems in those places, so I would think that they would need me, but you never really know. We’re trying to get to England later this year but I wouldn’t qualify that as the Third World.
What about a USO tour?
Yes, if I was asked, but no one asked me, you know.
What kind of material would you use?
Something to cheer people up. I might have to drop some of my hate-type of jokes—the more negative, miserable sorts of things. Maybe some sexual jokes, because a lot of those guys would love some sort of sexual situation, being cooped up there with each other.
Did you vote in the primaries?
I wanted to vote by absentee ballot. But I had no money for a stamp. Unfortunately, I was unable to do that. But I try not to endorse anyone because it might hurt their candidacy.
Who would give you the best material if elected?
Oh, any of them because if you’re skilled, you can make a joke out of anything. I could make a joke out of Mr. Peanut if he were to win the presidency. And I wish Mr. Peanut would, because you could get some real good jokes out of a guy like Mr. Peanut! That would be funny, to have a peanut in the White House—you gotta admit!
Where do you think our country is headed, then?
Oh, it’s terrible! You can’t afford the fuel—that’s my problem. The fuel guy got in—what’s the president now? Bush? He’s tied in with those guys, Conoco and 76, Chevron and all those companies. So the prices—I can’t afford them! It’s a mess! I don’t know how you pay for your gas, but I’m having a lot of problems doing it myself.
What was appearing on Fox News like?
It’s very lonely, because they’re taping the show in New York and I’m in Los Angeles. It’s just a camera on you and one guy in a giant building, and you got this little thing jammed into your eardrum. It’s hard to hear anything, and there’s a five-second delay. It’s very confusing! I have new respect for those guys when I see them being interviewed. What a strange situation it is under the lights with that damned thing jammed into your ear—they have it jammed all the way in there, you know.
Do you get your news from Fox?
No, I don’t care for that. I don’t watch it. It just depresses me, you know. I’m driving—I don’t have time for that. You can’t set up a TV on your dashboard, and you certainly can’t get cable TV if you’re doing it that way, either.
Where do you get your news from?
I get it from old newspapers I find under bus seats. And sometimes people put papers out for recycling. Then you can grab a whole bundle of those things and get all kinds of news!
Is there a celebrity that’s getting picked on too much?
None of them are getting picked on too much—in fact, some are getting picked on too little! A lot of them are less than ideal—not exactly impressing anyone with the garbage that they’re cranking out. Horrible movies! These people all need to be thrown into a pit and stop disgusting us with their garbage movies and television shows and records. Have you heard this Nickelback? Have you heard of that? Oh my God! That is really bad—I cannot recommend that.
Is there anything you don’t like about your fan base?
It’s not big enough, and a lot of them are dopers. You try to have a conversation with them and there’s a lot of this weird dementia—they’re out of their minds on God knows what. You gotta watch out for that.
Who has a better fan base?
Carrot Top—he’s done real well with those stupid props. Stupid crap! But everybody’s there at the Carrot Top show, you know. He’s playing in Las Vegas year-round.
Somebody peed in your drink when you performed at Spaceland?
What happened was that some prick thought that would be funny to put urine in my drink. And of course it isn’t funny, but tell that to them! That’s the kind of stuff people think is real funny these days. I don’t! I didn’t end up drinking any—you can smell urine, you know. You can smell it a mile away. It’s not a good smell, either.
What do you admire most about Frank Sinatra, Jr.?
l love Frank Sinatra, Jr.—there’s just so much in that voice. They say that you hear a lifetime of pain in the voice of Frank Sinatra senior—well, you also hear a lifetime of pain in the voice of Frank Sinatra, Jr., but it’s a different type of pain. It’s very difficult being the son of a legend. People would say, ‘Well, the man has had everything handed to him,’ but in fact it’s quite the opposite. The man is subject to unfair comparisons. In fact, Frank Sinatra, Jr., is a fantastic, fantastic singer, but no one will listen to it strictly on his own merits. It’s always gonna be a comparison. And I tell you, if you and I were singers, no one would be comparing every word out of our mouths to Frank Sinatra.
Where are you right now?
Right now I am just outside of Paso Robles, which of course is a town we all know and love—here where James Dean was killed. In fact, this is where his body was taken after the car accident in 1955. I do a show there every so often at a pizza parlor on off nights. Not on the main nights. Hopefully the main nights we get bookings in more prestigious type of venues—your Spacelands, your Madison Square Gardens, that type of situation.
Where are you living right now?
I can’t say I’m living anywhere because when you’re doing 399 to 426 shows a year, are you really living anywhere? I’m living behind the wheel of this goddamned car, I can tell you that much! In terms of living in a regular home, I do have a storage locker in the L.A. area.
What comedy great, living or dead, do you dream of sharing the stage with?
Oh you know, I’d like to perform with the popular ones—not because I like them. In fact, I don’t. But their popularity would rub off on me a little. Perhaps I wouldn’t be stuck in this quicksand of debt that I’m currently trying to swim out of—and getting deeper and deeper every moment!
Is it true that you have an autobiography in the works?
God! That sounds like one of these hatchet jobs. People will say you have syphilis if it will help them sell their paper. I never wrote any autobiography. I mean, I would, but nobody has offered to publish such a book. We got at least 12 albums, comics, DVDs—what’s that awful site where all freeloaders are, huh?
Youtube?
Youtube! We got a lot on there. What a nightmare that is, huh?
Whose idea was the Bonnie Prince Billy movie shorts?
Those were commercials. That was the record label who wanted to promote the album with a series of television advertisements, which did air in about 20 different markets on late night TV. You’d be amazed how inexpensive advertising is on late night TV, at like one or two in the morning. They bought a block of these ads in 20 markets nationwide and needed to produce some ads for the album, and so we got together and shot this stuff in Studio City over the course of a particularly memorable afternoon.
Particularly memorable?
Well, it was memorable in that we were able to shoot three fantastic, entertaining commercials without the aid of a script in a very very short period of time. While, you know, having a few tropical drinks, and a few laughs.
What was your impression of him?
He’s a great guy. I’ve worked with him before. We’ve done shows together—he was a guest on my TV show Poolside Chats with Neil Hamburger for a really great hour. What a talent in all fields! Whether it’s singing or acting or just telling jokes, the man is actually a comedian in his own right. If he ever gets tired of the song and the dance and all that, he can switch careers and be a joke teller.
How did you throw together a country album?
You always gotta do something new. I’ve done so many different records that they said ‘Let’s do something new!’ You might remember some of the great celebrity vocal albums that people love—people such as Telly Savalas or William Shatner. People really like an album by a celebrity or personality who they really enjoy. Whether or not that person is actually a great singer is beside the point, if you can come up with some songs that can suit their particular personality—as they did in my case. I know I’m no Pavarotti, but if you like Neil Hamburger—if you like the particular scenarios that take place in my life—here are a whole series of songs tied right into that.
So you wrote them?
They’re mostly original songs written for this project. There are only about two or three cover songs the rest were written and designed with Neil Hamburger in mind—to bring you the Neil Hamburger story in musical form.
How many units are you going to need to sell in order to abandon comedy?
Oh boy, I don’t know that I could ever sell enough to abandon it all together! If I could sell enough to buy myself out of debt and a bed or some sort of working vehicle because the ones I’m using are not so good… that would certainly pull me towards cutting down the bookings. I certainly would like to work less than I do, I’ll tell you. There aren’t a lot of people that work as much as I do.
Yeah, you’re all over the place.
And for so little, I might add.
What are some of your country music favorites?
Well, Frank Sinatra, Jr., did one country album called It’s Alright, and believe me it’s more than alright—it’s a real show stopper! I like the old Nashville guys. Merle Haggard wrote some great numbers that stand the test of time. Porter Wagoner was a man whose records we looked at very carefully to try to get the right sound—you don’t want to make it sound like these assholes on the radio today who are just totally horrible. We wanted the timeless quality that you get from a Porter Wagoner—those songs are written like a story, and you’re not distracted by all the terrible synthesizers and things that don’t belong on a real home-made country record. With our record we had a great pedal steel player—the best on the west coast! He came down and laid some pedal steel. We had Prairie Prince, who is one of the biggest drummers of all time. He played with everyone from John Fogerty to George Harrison, and of course he was in the band the Tubes for many years. The guy has a great sense of humor and he can really beat those drums. These guys are as good as Elvis’ band ever was, and they’re much easier to work with. A lot of Elvis’ band members—they had their issues, you know.
Any plans for future genres?
Yeah, I did a record actually—it was a punk rock album. It’s only four songs. I did it with the Hard-Ons—they’re from Australia. I was down there doing some shows, and these guys have been around for over 25 years—pretty well known worldwide. They invited me into the studio one afternoon. We knocked out a few songs. I’m not a punk rock singer by any stretch of the imagination—I would never claim to be. But again, you know, it’s a personality record. If you brought Leonard Nimoy in with the Hard-Ons they could make a good record, too. All he has to do is put on those Spock ears and you have yourself a hit record! And that was sort of the idea here. I don’t think I’m gonna be competing with the Sex Pistols or any of those type of groups, but I do think we came out with something really special out there in Sydney.
Anything else you haven’t done?
I’ll do anything, but I probably wouldn’t try the opera because my vocal range is limited. I’m a comedian, not a singer. But hey, if you ever hear the Telly Savalas record or The Brady Bunch Sings, or Uri Geller, who bends those spoons—he made an album that is just fantastic! An untrained vocalist! It’s all about making a record that matches the personality, and then you make something that people really want to hear.
Best piece of advice for somebody traveling on the road like you?
Don’t do it! That’s my advice.

NEIL HAMBURGER WITH GUESTS ON SUN., APRIL 27, AT SPACELAND, 1717 SILVERLAKE BLVD., SILVERLAKE. 8:30 PM / $8 / 21+. CLUBSPACELAND.COM. NEIL HAMBURGER SINGS COUNTRY WINNERS OUT NOW ON DRAG CITY. UNOFFICIALLY VISIT NEIL HAMBURGER AT AMERICASFUNNYMAN.COM.

It’s hard to say if Field Music was disappointed with their inability to re-create their records in a live setting or if they feel as if their sound had reached its plateau. Whichever the case (though it could also be neither of the two options) David Brewis’ Sea from Shore, his first record as School of Language, is similar to Field Music’s sound in the sense that it’s difficult to believe a live show would really ever do it justice. While the Futureheads’ Barry Hyde and David Craig make guest appearances on Sea, Brewis is touring as a one-man band with his acoustic firmly in tow. That being said, while the thought of one dude and his acoustic guitar may not necessarily grab you, the honesty and craftsmanship in Brewis’ songs could make for one of those nights where you see an artist turn your head completely around.

— Alex Roman

SCHOOL OF LANGUAGE WITH AMATEURS AND WONDERGROUND AT SPACELAND, 1717 SILVER LAKE BLVD., SILVER LAKE. 8:30 PM / $8 / 21+. CLUBSPACELAND.COM.