Poison: These guys wrote songs about being these guys. A friend of mine once dismissed Poison’s seminal power ballad, “Every Rose Has Its Thorn,” as “emotionally retarded.”  This comment did not sit well with me, for reasons both personal and scientific. On a personal level, Poison was my first Rock Show.  Tesla opened up for [...]

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Fuck Katy Perry and Sheryl Crow—I have rarely seen a band more suited for playing to soggy people on a sunny Saturday afternoon than Natalie Portman’s Shaved Head. These party-rock synth kids got some damned lucky breaks to be playing for crowds this big, and they were appreciative, giving and smiley, their keyboardist-cum-bassist-singer wearing a Delicious Vinyl t-shirt and yachting cap like a man steering his hometown crowd towards the shores of Par-Tei. They did all the hits—at this point, they have nothing else to play—and after song after catchy song about sideways ponytails and Bis-esque beard lust, I realized that this may be the best intentionally shallow band I’ve heard since Poison.

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