We asked for riddles and we got a few…Here are some favorites.

What’s the speed limit of sex?
—68; at 69 you have to turn around.

What’s black and white and re[a]d all over?
—A Newspaper.

What did the dying hard drive say to his friend with lots of storage?
—Can I get a backup?

What animal is always prepared to travel?
—An elephant because it carries a trunk.

What can eat but can’t drink?
—Fire.

What is the difference between a guitar and a tuna fish?
—You can tune a guitar but you can’t tuna fish.

I can be as blue as the sky or have a white top.
I roll through my world and crash into yours.
I can be as gentle as a newborn puppy or as vicious as an angered bull, ripping through anything I find.
I will topple anything you put in my way if I am strong enough.
What am I?
—A WAVE!

When does ash allow you to fly? It’s not what you think, it’s not when you are high.
—It is only upon a starry night, when the ash smolders, and the Phoenix takes flight.

Draw a bird with a beak, feet, eyes.
Show it to the person next to you.
Ask them to tell you what you are pointing at and point at the beak, feet and eyes.
Now draw a wing.
Ask them what you just drew.
Ask them to say what it is three times in a row.
“wing wing wing”
Use your hand as a phone and say hello this is [your name], how can I help you?

AND THE WINNER IS…..

My hair is a mess, my lips are swollen, my neighbor’s an ass, my friends are dicks and my owner keeps giving me the finger! What am I?