lauren everett

The Flytraps are an all-girl trashy surf-garage band who love hot tubs, the Mummies and Anton LaVey. The interview took place in Laura’s backyard which featured a large collection of disturbing statuary, including some cannibalistic french fries. More on that below. Other subjects covered include the perils of surfing, girl band geeks and Eurotrash pop. This interview by Janet Housden.

I was tragically unaware of your existence until yesterday, so I haven’t really done my homework. Just feel free to talk any shit you want—lies, slander, it’s all good. How long have you been together?
Kristin (bass/vocals): Probably almost a year?
Marz (rhythm guitar/vocals): I play rhythm guitar and I’m the lead singer. I’ve been in bands since I was 12, but it’s my second semi-serious band. And my favorite.
K: This is probably my most listenable band. I play bass, I sing sometimes … I was in a really shitty punk band before.
We’ve all been in shitty punk bands. The older you get, the more you fear Google. What were some of the bands that you’ve been in?
M: Mine was Marz and the Mess.
K: Mine was Dehumanized.
The trashy, surfy garage rock thing has been around for a long time, but somehow never gets old. What is it about it?
Laura (drums): The songs are usually short, it’s fun to listen to …
M: We’re not showing off. It might help that we do live in California and people do surf.
I think a lot of people in surf bands didn’t really surf.
M: The Beach Boys didn’t even surf! One of them drowned! How fucking ironic is that?!
It’s even more ironic than that—the one that drowned was the only one that surfed! So explain these creepy mannequins.
L: We moved in here almost two months ago, and when we came to look at this house it was the backyard that really sold me. It was just … I feel like we walked into somebody else’s dream. The landlord asked me if I wanted her to take all the statues away and I was like, ‘Please leave them.’ There’s a giant John Wayne in the corner, but my two favorite statues are the hot dog that’s pouring ketchup on itself, and this thing of french fries that’s eating itself, like, with crazy bug eyes. And I like to look directly into the woman right here, the butler woman’s eyes. She has the creepiest eyes I’ve ever seen in my life.
Those are pretty demented—so there’s a butler and a maid and half of a slaughtered pig hanging upside down?
M: If you turn it around you can see its guts.
And there’s also a giant palm tree lamp and a Marilyn Monroe.
L: And there’s a little Elvis …
K: His guitar is backwards.
Dyslexic Elvis!
L: Everything you see, it came with the house. The first time we had a party here, we had a hot tub party, and there was a boom box already out here, and we turned the radio on and it immediately started playing the Eagles. It was perfect! We didn’t even change the station all night.
What kind of people owned this house?
M: People with John Wayne statues who liked to party!
L: How could you live here and not party? Look at this place! We had that one party and then the landlord emptied the hot tub the next day and told us we couldn’t use it anymore. … It was kind of a bummer, but we’re just gonna refill it.
Let the dog swim in it. Landlord revenge is an art. You have to be subtle and make it look like an accident.
L: She sold us on the hot tub, like, ‘This place has a hot tub! Don’t forget about the hot tub!’ Then we use it once … Apparently there was a cigarette butt in it. Like one cigarette butt. She told us that it broke the hot tub.
At least you got to have one California hot tub party.
L: That party was pretty epic.
Being an all-girl band, do you ever get, like, douchebag promoters going, ‘We’re gonna have all-girl night!’ and they try to lump you in with a bunch of bands you have nothing in common with?
Everyone: Oh yeah.
K: We got asked to play at a lesbian club at Que Sera once.
M: Everyone assumes we’re like, feminists. That’s cool, but they just come at us like ‘Sooooo … what do you think about feminist rights?’ Just because we’re all girls.
Yeah—I still see bands, mostly lame ones, trying to pull the whole ‘we’re blazing new trails for women in rock ‘n’ roll’ routine. They’ve been saying that for 40 years!
K: Yeah, I hate it. It’s been fucking done.
M: I can’t stand it.
Then why did you want to be all girls?
L: It just sort of happened like that.
K: We just wanna play music. It’s not that I’m uncomfortable around guys, but you can’t really have the same connection.
K: We can just go to practice and not give a fuck about anything. We do have that feminine bonding or whatever.
Back in the day, we used to have these guys called GBGs—Girl Band Geeks—and they were just like the creepiest dudes that would follow female musicians around.
K: That shit still happens!
M: It’s flattering, but we definitely know where you’re coming from with this question.
The hardcore GBGs were kind of scary. Some of them, you just knew they had severed ears in their refrigerator at home.
K: Like locks of our hair! I would like to think that they’re just into the music, but in the back of my mind I think they, you know …
M: Last night was a perfect example.
K: We played on a Marine base! Camp Pendleton, last night.
M: I’ve never heard so many cheesy pick-up lines in a row.
That’s more like a normal dude thing. I’m thinking of those weird guys who say, ‘I only like bands with girls in them,’ and they show up and take lots of pictures. Anyway—do you have serious ambitions for the band?
K: We wanna travel—all over everywhere. That’d be fucking sick, if we could afford it. I just wanna have a good time.
M: More than anything else, I just wanna fucking travel. Everywhere.
I’ve heard rumors that they treat American bands nicer in Europe than they do here.
K: I don’t know, my friend’s band just toured over there, and this one vegan blogger or some shit spread all these rumors that they were, like, racist. And the singer’s Mexican! They just went to Europe a few weeks ago and they had all this shit happen—like their drivers dropped out … it was fucked up. Just from like one person misinterpreting something.
M: I moved here from Belgium six years ago. My grandpa’s husband is some big producer guy in Europe.
K: What the fuck? Hook us up!
M: I hate to bring up the whole girl thing, but honestly the fact that we’re all girls, they would eat it up over there. Because the talent in Europe, it’s such a lower standard. [Laughs] I’m just talking about Belgium. Belgium is just Eurotrash pop, that kind of thing. But they really like American bands. They really like American culture. And I can say this cuz I moved from there.
If you guys were all trapped somewhere, and it was just the members of your band, and you’re trapped on a ship lost at sea or in a fallout shelter or something, and you have a kitchen, and you have condiments, and all the things you usually find in a kitchen, but you have no food—who in the band would you kill and eat first, and how would you prepare them?
Everyone except Marz: Marz!
M: I don’t have any meat on my bones!
K: Roast her up on a fucking rotisserie.
M: No one would miss me.
K: Well, you’d be the most delicious. You have the lean muscle.
L: And she’s from Belgium.
M: I’d taste like waffles and beer. OK, so me.
What would be your ultimate gig?
K: We want to play with the Mummies.
M: Mummies, for sure. I just saw them in S.F.—I’ve been waiting to see them for years and years.
Russell Quan is the God of Rock ‘n’ Roll.
K: He was so fucking sick. He was like reading off a grocery store coupon list, like, ‘You can pick up a head of lettuce for 99 cents,’ while the rest of his band were putting on their mummy costumes.
I saw them once, and near the end of the set the Farfisa player just opened the door and threw his Farfisa into the street. I was like, ‘This is the best band ever!’
K: They still had tons of energy—the singer was picking up his keyboard over his head and acting like he was going to throw it at me.
When I went to google you guys, the first thing that came up was this pop band of Thai ladyboys called Venus Flytrap. Who’d win in a fistfight—you or the ladyboys?
K: I fight dirty.
M: I’m 5’10’ and I surf, and Kristin is just a nutcase. Laura’s a nutcase, and Beth is quiet—but it’s the quiet ones you’ve gotta watch out for, so honestly, like, watch out.
You have a picture of Anton LaVey on your MySpace page. Are you guys all evil and shit? Or do you just like his fashion sense?
K: Anton LaVey is fuckin’ rad. He just didn’t give a fuck about offending anyone. He just did what he wanted to do and that was his whole philosophy.
Beth (lead guitar): Didn’t he plagiarize? I just heard that he stole all his material from somewhere else.
He’s into Satan! You’re allowed to do that stuff when you’re into Satan.
K: His whole philosophy was like do what you want. Don’t hurt anyone else but do what you want.
He stole that one for sure.
M: ‘Good artists copy, great artists steal.’
K: My mom saw it on MySpace and was like, ‘You need to delete that right now!’ I wanted to appease her, like, ‘OK Mom, we’ll take some of the Satanist stuff off our internet page,’ and MySpace would not let me do it! MySpace supports Satanism. You heard it from me.

THE FLYTRAPS WITH SOME DAYS, FIM AND THE TERRORISTS ON THURS., JAN. 19, AT CHEETAHS, 4600 HOLLYWOOD BLVD., HOLLYWOOD. 8 PM / TBD / 21+. CHEETAHSHOLLYWOOD.COM. EMAIL THE FLYTRAPS AT THEFLYRAPS666@GMAIL.COM.