CEREBRAL BALLZY: BEG TO GO TO JAIL
Brooklyn band Cerebral Ballzy play completely wrecked hardcore and destroyed our Valentine’s Day show in February. They will also destroy the Echo tomorrow. Singer Honor Titus speaks now on puke, cops, jail, jazz, yuppies and Cyndi Lauper. This interview by Chris Ziegler.
When you did the ‘Puke Song,’ you actually recorded a live puke. What is the best way to capture a puke in hi-fidelity?
Honor Titus (vocals): It was actually really fuckin’ funny, man. I tried to shotgun four beers in a row to puke on cue, I guess, and I totally missed the fuckin’ toilet and puked on the mic. We had to hide it from Joby from the Bronx—‘Ah, it’s all chill, dude.’ As I’m wiping down this mic all frantically. ‘Man, I hope he doesn’t see this!’
Does he know that happened?
I think he’ll find out in L.A. RECORD.
What else have you destroyed with the power of bodily functions?
The first time we were in London—last summer—shit was just stupid, man. It was just disgusting. I puked on a kid at a gig! Like on stage.
Was he into it?
I … don’t think so. He got pushed into the pit and … went away.
Like a washing machine? Was he cleaned by the rotational action of the circle pit?
That’s some vile shit!
Did you ever try the forbidden English drink called ‘the Snakebite’?
Abe took seven of ‘em in one night when we first got to London and supposedly … the story goes he was with some chick, and some dudes called the chick he was with a slut, and then the dude slapped Abe! And Abe totally whupped some dudes ass on seven snakebites. It was the first three days in London. And he almost got arrested because of CCTV. They show up within minutes! Big Brother’s watching, man. It’d be a good statistic on how many cameras are in London. I’m sure across England there’s millions. We’d be ducking into corners to do drugs and shit on the street.
Did you crawl into any dumpsters?
Exactly—that status. Find a weird nook and pull some dude’s apartment door and sneak into his corridor.
Didn’t someone get arrested in England?
Mason did. He got off cuz the kid pushed him first. I don’t know. Dude tried to step to Mason and our tour manager cracked the kid with a bottle. And they went to jail for the night, and Mason wouldn’t shut the fuck up about how England has the best fucking prison treatment in the world. Like you press a button and they bring you a cup of tea! And he woke up and had a better breakfast than we all had that fucking morning—a full English breakfast! I’d beg to go to jail in England. Sounds like the fuckin’ Days Inn.
Have you ever met any of those cops that used to be into punk and are totally stoked to talk about punk while they’re busting you?
There’s a ton of ‘em in New York. ‘Oh, man, fuckin’ Cro-Mags—fuckin’ Cro-Mags. I saw you pissin’ but Cro-Mags!’
Has that actually gotten you off of getting busted?
Yeah—it’s kinda obvious, man. We look like a fuckin’ crew of freaks at this point. Dudes are like, ‘Well, you’re obviously into something else … but Cro-Mags, bro! Cro-Mags!’
Does that work outside of New York City?
No. N-O no!
Do you ever do what Black Flag used to do and tell the cops you’re in a jazz band?
Totally. When we first started the band, we were CBC—Cerebral Ballzy Crew. So we go through mad checkpoints: ‘Oh, you’re a band?’ ‘Yeah, CBC!’ ‘What does that mean?’ ‘City Boys for Christ, man!’
Are there any Cerebral Ballzy fans that terrify you?
Dude, there’s a few. Shit is gnarly. There’s one chick named … like Trashlee or something, something gnar. She has like tie-dye hair. But she’s kinda cute. And also … Trash Talk is the only other band I’ve seen get this. Dudes can’t contain themselves around us. It’s kind of gnarly. Dudes are just super-stoked. Like dudes in London say, ‘I’m not gay, mate, but you’re the only dude I’d fuck!’ Like … what the fuck are you talking about, dude?
Are you gonna do a solo pop album like Stiv Bators? That would really make people fall in love with you.
I’m working on it! How do you know? I’ve got a Stiv Bators tattoo, man.
Who’s in your tattoo roll call? Zombies, Beach Boys …
I got Ozzy Osbourne in a poncho playing guitar.
No slice of pizza tattoo?
I narrowly avoided the pizza tattoo, thank God. You know … food tattoos. ‘You dig food, man. Cool.’ It’s kinda suspect. ‘You really like soup, huh?’
That’d be great. A bowl and a spoon with little steam lines.
Add mashed potatoes and I’d fucking love it. I almost got ‘Time After Time’—the Cyndi Lauper song. She rules. She’s super-down. I’ve heard her weird demos. That shit’s rad. I’d bone Cyndi, dude. Put it out there. Is her hair still purple?
She has this platinum angel thing now.
I’d marry her and change my name to Lauper. I’d be Honor Lauper. That’s sick.
When is the record coming out?
July 25. We’re releasing it on Adult Swim in the States. Raymond Pettibon did the art. Shit’s gonna be nuts.
You gonna guest-spot on ‘Superjail’?
They’re gonna guest spot on Ballzy, man.
What would your opening cartoon credits be?
It’d be a no-comply on to a fuckin’ … deep thin-crust then a backflip on to a chick’s tits.
Do you really think aliens are taking over the Brooklyn Navy Yards?
I think so. An indigenous tribe called ‘the yuppies.’
You should check out the documentary They Live.
One thing you should check out … no, one thing you should NEVER check out … is 1992 to 1994 pop-punk bands.
Didn’t you play the Warped Tour with all those bands?
I love Vans and I love sixteen-year-old girls so we agreed to the terms. We didn’t read the fine print. And it’s OK. We made it. The awesomest band on the Warped Tour besides Cerebral Ballzy was the Casualties. And Keith Morris is a fucking god among men. I fucking love that dude.
How long would it take you to grow hair like Keith Morris?
Not til after I see ‘They Live.’ Maybe I’m the yuppie!
L.A. RECORD PRESENTS CEREBRAL BALLZY WITH BASTARD AND RUPTURES ON TUE., JUNE 7, AT THE ECHO, 1822 SUNSET BLVD., ECHO PARK. 7 PM / $8 / ALL AGES. ATTHEECHO.COM. VISIT CEREBRAL BALLZY AT CEREBRALBALLZY.COM.