Stream: Cerebral Ballzy “Puke Song”

(from the You’re Idle 7″ available now from Article)

Cerebral Ballzy are a skate punk band from New York. Since they are from New York, technically L.A. shouldn’t give them the time of day, but they are a good band. They are straight-up skate punk. But they’re also BLACK. OK, technically three out of the five guys in the band are BLACK, but that still technically makes them BLACKer than Trash Talk. This of course has every press release comparing them to Bad Brains and BLACK Flag. I guess in some ways they are carrying on the torch of BLACKNESS in punk rock. If you actually listen to ‘em, they wear their love of the Adolescents and the Faction on their sleeves. I got to interview Mel over the phone. He’s about to go on the second Cerebral Ballzy tour with the band this summer. By the way, did I mention he’s BLACK? This interview by Taeil Kim.

First of all, what the fuck is up with your band name? My aunt has cerebral palsy. You think that shit is funny?
Mel (bass): Yeah. That shit is funny.
I was just fucking with you. I don’t have any relatives with CP. Anyways, I can’t help notice some of you guys are BLACK. Are you sick of the Bad Brains comparisons yet?
Mel: Not really, but I’m tired of the whole race comparison. They’re cool, and on a certain level I look up to those dudes, so say it because of the music and the energy.
Yeah, but don’t you guys have two white guys in the band?
Mel: What the fuck man? Do you wish you were black? This Bad Brains thing is going overboard. Fuck off.
OK, OK. So Mel—is your name short for Melvin? I have you saved as ‘Melvins’ on my phone. Just like the band. You like the Melvins? Anyways, what is up with your parents naming you Melvin?
Mel: I dunno—what the fuck is up with your two dads naming you Taeil?
Taeil is Korean. I’ve been called that all my life so I didn’t bother getting an American name like Steve. Calling me anything else would just be weird. Melvin is pretty much up there with nerd names like Urkel. So who gets the most pussy in the band?
Mel: Our van.
My impression of New York is mainly based on that movie KIDS. You know anyone any guy named Telly or Casper with HIV?
Mel: Yeah—in fact I used to be a big brother to a kid named Casper. He drank me under the table at 14 years old and insisted that condoms were of the devil. To this day he still has AIDS.
Where are your favorite places to skate in New York?
Mel: So many spots … under the BQE, McCarren Park, Tompkins, under the FDR, Linden Plaza projects, and this tiny ass skate park across the street—opened like two weeks ago. We broke into that one to shoot our video.
In my skate crew, I was the guy who pretended to skate just to be a lookout for cops. Too bad I pretended to do that too. You have any ‘lookout’ guys who can’t skate for shit?
Mel: Nah, we don’t have that here.
OK, so that new video of yours … Where can I actually get the song? It’s not even on the new You’re Idle EP! Are you guys promoting a video for a song you can’t buy? You kids crazy?
Mel: Not crazy, just slow. We’ll be putting that shit up on iTunes soon.
We’re not supposed to like New York bands, but are there any decent ones besides you guys?
Mel: BigGunz! and Razor Tail.
Big Gunz! has a Pantera tribute band as a top friend. That’s a good sign. After your first tour, I assume you guys have pissed in a bottle or two. What are your favorite bottles to piss in? I prefer Gatorade for one because they have huge mouths.
Mel: Anything with a huge mouth will do. For example, your sister.
Hold it, R. Kelly—the only guy allowed to piss in my sister’s mouth is me! Ever cut your dick trying to pee in a can?
Mel: All the time.

CEREBRAL BALLZY WITH WOAH HUNX, JUICEBOXXX AND KID STATIC PLUS DJ VICE COOLER ON THUR., JUN. 24, AT THE SMELL, 247 S. MAIN ST., DOWNTOWN. 9 OM / $5 / ALL AGES. THESMELL.ORG. CEREBRAL BALLZY’S YOU’RE IDLE 7″ IS AVAILABLE NOW FROM ARTICLE. VISIT CEREBRAL BALLZY AT MYSPACE.COM/CEREBRALBALLZY.