dan monick

Download: Kim Fowley “Kim Vincent Fowley”

(from the “Kim Vincent Fowley” / “21st Century Youth” 7″ out in May on Black Thoughts)

Kim Fowley is 70 years old this year and one of the greatest recognizers in rock ‘n’ roll. He has been lying for profit since the first day he drove into Hollywood. He generated this entire interview and more out of nothing while L.A. RECORD sat on his carpet and ate tomatoes. He is famous this week for being the bad guy in the Runaways movie, but he has two new compilations out on Norton that are worth twice what they sell for because of the liner notes alone. He plans to be buried in a clear casket with a gold telephone … if he ever lets the world find out he died. Part 2 will post later this week and several thousand words of never-ever-seen too-hot-for-L.A. RECORD outtakes may post when we get back from SXSW. This interview by Chris Ziegler.

Kim Fowley: This is the first leg of the definitive Kim Fowley interview as conducted by L.A. RECORD, taking place in the shabby downtrodden 1950s apartment of Mr. Fowley, who instead of living in a mansion decided to live among the people. Phil Spector spent his entire life leaving this neighborhood and Kim couldn’t wait to rush here from an equally shabby residence in Redlands at the edge of the California desert. Why does this man who sold over one hundred million records insist on living like a pig in a pigsty? ‘Answer,’ says Fowley. ‘I’m a pig, therefore I like to live in a pigsty.’ More importantly, I invest my time and money in movies and the music projects I do. Therefore when a star walks in off the street or a great idea comes along, I don’t ask for financing. I just do it. And if I’m wrong, I don’t suffer. You have never interviewed somebody who was in Hollywood working in movies in 1946 and you haven’t interviewed anyone in 2009 that has ten movies, six books and five albums coming out. So already I do better than all your young readers and my competitors who are younger than me, and my dead competitors are not even there to compete. Therefore I win. This person, the reverend Christine Blood brings out my best view of my own humanity. Because my enemies hope I’m not human. They’re afraid of the subhuman. And my fans love the superhuman. My humanity is basically neglected by everyone I meet. They’re only interested in what I can create for them—to make money or how I can get them off. They’re not terribly interested in me as a human. And when you take away the gold records and the ANGER, all you have left is the human. And what fun is that? When I started in show business, I put the human beign aside. I only brought the human being out when I wrote songs. I tapped into feelings because you have to as a songwriter, or when I was producing and it was a sentimental statement, I needed to tap into that version of me. The rest of the time my humanity was in these iron drawers. It was shut away. I deal in the superhuman and the subhuman, so any time you can break character and stop beating the shit out of somebody or taking all their money out of their pocket and you get to enjoy a flower or a tree or a blue sky, that’s cool. It doesn’t happen too much. If you look at all the tragic motherfuckers—I’m a tragic motherfucker, I know—but if you look at all the ones who went down in flames, it was that ‘rosebud’ thing. At the end of Citizen Kane. ‘Where’s something that means something? Where in my nature is a gesture that allows me to deal as human with human needs?’ If I can still feel the need to do that, I’m a worthwhile person. The rest of the time I’m a piece of shit and a phenomenon. In Cyrano De Bergerac, the Queen says, ‘Cyrano, you’re a great man.’ ‘No, your majesty—I do great things.’ I’m segueing now. We got the humanity out of the way. It’s time for me to challenge you to get on to the interviews.
Can anyone hope to die satisfied?
Kim Fowley: Brian Wilson will die satisfied because he’s already shown us who he is. Or Don MacLean. Maybe Iggy Pop. Maybe Kurt Cobain, Jim Morrison—they put themselves out there, and they had moments of purity, you know? Moments of the inner light shining. When I see performers hitting that mark, that could be the sign that death might be OK—pleasant for them. ‘I had some good moments—fuck it!’ If you don’t have any good moments, too bad. But if you did, you can slide into the ether.
You had some good moments.
Kim Fowley: Tell me what they are.
The time you and four lesbians orgasmed simultaneously?
Kim Fowley: Yeah.
What about that girl who set herself on fire because you didn’t love her?
Kim Fowley: Those were acts of acknowledgement of my presence. Or maybe they’re urban legends and they never happened at all.
Which died first—rock ‘n’ roll or America?
Kim Fowley: Rock ‘n’ roll died when Elvis died. America died … the best America ever was probably the movie The Best Years of Our Lives. That was the America that made sense. Bruce Springsteen’s America made sense. In a smaller extent, Bob Seger and John Cougar Mellencamp. Guns ‘n’ Roses’ America makes sense. Just like the Sex Pistols’ U.K. made sense. Or Pedro Almodovar’s Spain make sense. I generally look at the art of countries or civilizations to interpret them. Orson Welles’ Citizen Kane defines the ‘30s. I was born in 1939, so if I want to make reference where I started from—Hitler invaded Poland, the premier of Gone With The Wind and The Wizard of Oz—that’s the year I started.
Where do you fit in to America?
Kim Fowley: ‘Kim Fowley was there at the beginning playing California rock ‘n’ roll.’ That’s a song on the Skip Battin solo record with Roger McGuinn and Clarence White. I also produced them. I can’t remember all the times I was first. You’re sitting here looking at my ugly rug and it seems to be possible that ‘he who was first will later be last.’ Before he died, I spent time with Timothy Leary at Todd Rundgren’s party for Ringo Starr and I got mentor-wizard lessons. He was a charming charismatic guy. He sat himself down right in the center of the party and I went up and sat right next to him and he said, ‘You’re Irish—you’re here to learn. Can you converse?’ I’ve been able to meet those guys and girls along the way. I met Jayne Mansfield when I was 12. I chased her down the street and caught her in her pink Jaguar and said, ‘I can’t get a hard-on yet, but when I do, I’m gonna have intimacy with women like you.’
Were those your exact words?
Kim Fowley: Yeah! ‘Give me your autograph so someday I can be interviewed by L.A. RECORD and I can show it to them!’ She said, ‘You have more balls than all these horny men your dad’s age who don’t have the balls to tell me I’m great.’ ‘You are—you work at it. It’s your job—how is it?’ And she said, ‘It’s full time.’ And then someone in my sixth-grade class ran off with the autograph.
Was that the first time someone ever stole from you?
Kim Fowley: No—in the foster home older kids used to steal my food. Then I threw a 12-year-old girl down the stairs and broke her back and they stopped stealing from me. I was 6-and-a-half.
When was your growth spurt?
Kim Fowley: 8th grade or 9th grade. I went from a cute kid to a giraffe. Then all the problems started.
What would have happened if you were a foot shorter?
Kim Fowley: I’d be Michael J. Fox or James Cagney or Tom Cruise. Or Rodney Bingenheimer. Suddenly you’re judged as an adult and you’re not, and you have to grow into the body that fate has given you. Girls who have a woman’s body at the same age must go through similar things. And the tiny guys, the fat ones, the other handicapped ones—they all have to adjust to the extreme physical cage they’re placed in by people who judge… the plastic surgeons have made an industry out of people who aren’t quite symmetrically right. So they get surgery to expand their digestibility to others and themselves. A lot of us remake ourselves to be digestible for ‘them’ or ‘they’ and in the end ‘them’ or ‘they’ never console us and we’re left for dead by ‘them’ or ‘they,’ but we all have to become prostitutes when we’re in show business in order to play the game. So when we take our project to the marketplace, somebody always wants to change something. And that’s fine—it’s their property anyway. It belongs to the public and the mechanism that sells it. Come on in! Fuck with it! That’s art vs. commerce. We compose all day long and we get the last piece of the pie—we hardly have anything to hang on to that’s ours. Hence you have Zombelle who should be on a major but isn’t because she gets a great joy from being self-contained musically and vocally. Which is admirable. Madonna—one of my heroes—is still #1 in the world because she knows how to reconcile her subjective creative needs with what an audience and the media need to process. Therefore when I create, I don’t think of my need to create. I think of what the audience needs. And what the audience needs is what they end up paying for. And that’s why I have a successful track record as a wage earner. It’s what Harry Cohen said in the book Hollywood Raja—I fill up holes in the infield. I give my public what my competitors forget. Well, now your readers want me now to comment on things that are going to piss them off, so you have to get real tough now and try to bust my balls.
What’s the stupidest thing you’ve made the most money off of?
Kim Fowley: Waking up every morning since February 3rd, 1959, and saying I was a show business professional in Hollywood, California.
How much of your work has been motivated by revenge?
Kim Fowley: None.
How about love?
Kim Fowley: None.
Who is someone who you hated at first meeting but became best friends with later?
Kim Fowley: Myself.
What’s the most bullshit you’ve ever endured in a single twenty-four hour period?
Kim Fowley: Everyday of my life.
You said once, ‘If you can’t sum up what you are doing in a single sentence, you shouldn’t be doing it.’ Why is that true?
Kim Fowley: Because there is no attention span for the failures and the defeated.
What is most worthwhile about failure?
Kim Fowley: Coming back next time and being meaner and faster.
What is left in this world that disgusts you?
Kim Fowley: Everything.
What was the most merciless screw-job someone around you ever received?
Kim Fowley: From who? You mean sexually or in business? One of my customers when I was a sex worker because it was requested of me.
When were you a sex worker?
Kim Fowley: ’57 to ’59.
What kind of sex work was happening in America in ’57? Did you show someone your ankle?
Kim Fowley: No, I was a sexual surrogate for burn victims, people with missing limbs, people that didn’t have eyeballs and never had a penis in their mouth. People who were no longer caressed after being burned over 80% of their body. Widows who hadn’t been loved since their husband died. I was the person who would be intimate with them as part of their remedies and their rehabilitation. Part of their recovery.
What would you say to them to break the ice?
Kim Fowley: I’d ask them what they wanted done to them that nobody else would ever do with them or to them and they would tell me. They had very exact requests.
What from that experience was most applicable to your musical career?
Kim Fowley: Everything because now I ask people at record companies or movie studios what they want that nobody else is bringing them in terms of art content. I just do what they request and then they buy it.
Were you trained as a sexual surrogate?
Kim Fowley: No. I was an 11-year-old boy who was picked up by a 27-year-old graduate student female from UCLA. I was her man. I couldn’t get a hard-on but I could eat pussy and make out. And then I had some practice at 12 and 13 and at 14 I got lucky with James Cagney’s mistress. Then I had some older women who liked me at 15 and 16 and had polio at 17, and I was hitchhiking one day with my cane and an older women said, ‘$100 to cum all over my glasses and my face and the cane up my cunt for another hundred bucks. $200. Are you ready?’ I said, ‘Yeah, pull over!’ And then I realized I had aptitude for this.
Was that a nice feeling—to find out you were good at something you didn’t expect?
Kim Fowley: I knew I was good at 11 when I kept a 27-year-old interested by eating pussy. The fact that she kept coming back and buying me ice cream—I figured I had something going on that was really good. Somebody said, ‘Are you gay?’ I said, ‘Is there a man pretty enough?’ My current sexual thing is the human being—chasing that person who transcends age. Remember the movie Enchanted Cottage with Dorothy McGuire? Two deformed people go into a cottage and they’re beautiful but to everyone else they’re mongoloids or burn victims or whatever. And everybody who goes in the cottage is beautiful but they’re all hideous. So when I finally die, which will be before you’re old, you go to the funeral and you will see the woman there saying goodbye and she may—at the point and time—not be the cover of L.A. RECORD or People or anything but to me, she was there before the real person. And that’s who you end up having the best sex with—it’s the human connection. When you’ve been a professional prostitute—I even have a song called ‘I Fell In Love With a Prostitute.’ It’s about falling in love with myself. I fell in love but it didn’t help me at all—so why bother? So connection—that’s really what I’m interested in, in terms of sexuality. And that’s me. Somebody else may have to get fucked by an aardvark, I don’t know. Put it this way—an orgasm is such a tricky thing nowadays if you have emotional baggage or you have dysfunctional family background or any of those things. A simple love feeling is hard to attain because you have so much blockage and that’s why I try and relieve the blockage when I can.
What happens when the blockage is gone?
Kim Fowley: The other person is damn lucky to be in the room with me if that happens. I’m a giver in a relationship. I don’t take, I give. And I’m also hard to love because I’m sort of an asshole man. I can write the dialogue for the bitch to say who is supposedly loving me. I can program her to love me.
How do you program someone to love you?
Kim Fowley: Honestly? Okay. I’m just doing this dramatically. First thing you do is you find out what they like about you. The second thing is you pump it up so they can’t miss it. The third thing is you listen to what they’re not saying and the fourth thing is listen to what they are saying—somewhere in the middle is the truth. And then you’re receptive to them and their needs when they need it, not when you require it. And all of a sudden you trap them because they’re addicted to your availability for their needs. And once they need you and once you’re dependable, then they’re defenseless and they hope you don’t hurt them.
What do you do once you’ve got them?
Kim Fowley: You keep making them happy. Well, that’s hypothetical of course.
You give?
Kim Fowley: Yeah, if there’s anything to give. Some people don’t have anything to give. Some people are empty.
You’ve said you’re an empty person.
Kim Fowley: No—in the context of selling product, I’m a non person. I’m a superhuman person. I’m a con artist, I’m a thief, I’m a prick—okay? You can jack off to me if you’re so inclined. Okay, that’s selling product. When you’re sitting there for a cancer operation or something else, well, that’s pretty simplistic stuff. You want to bring up some dark shit? Or are you going to bring up some bright shiny human shit for these poor bastards?
Christine Blood: Let’s get a piece of enlightenment.
Kim Fowley: About multiple orgasms from male cock.
As long as we can do it in five minutes.
Christine Blood: Okay—two sentences. Reverse piss and shit, okay? Create the energy from the root chakra. Right? So you’re building your blast. And you normally just dump it out. So instead of having the unenlightened orgasm, you have the enlightened one where you build it up to use your energy for an entire body orgasm manifestation to occur. So you keep pumping your love pump which is located inside between your asshole and your cock. So every single time you test it by going to like an 8 or a 9 on the scale where it’s not too late before you’re dumping it out and then you contract the PC muscle by doing the reverse piss and shit motion and it comes up the body and then you have an orgasm experience multiply before you release the load—how does that sound?
Sounds like it takes a lot of work.
Kim Fowley: I can get hard-ons for twelve hours and I can cum again every eight minutes if I’m so inspired.
Like if there’s like a great work of art?
Kim Fowley: Uh—it has to be right.
What’s something that you still want out of life that you haven’t gotten?
Kim Fowley: It would be nice to have somebody tell me to shut up and listen and I wouldn’t resent them—I could learn something from them. Try to bust me!
Try to bust you? I’m getting into the sweet stuff. Do you remember the first girl you ever kissed?
Kim Fowley: Yeah. She had a bacon and lettuce sandwich and so did I. We both had braces and we ended up having our braces locked together. Her father had to come pry them apart. He was saying, ‘I hope you have money if you make her pregnant.’ I said, ‘I haven’t even made out yet, dude.’
When was the last time you got yelled at by a furious father?
Kim Fowley: Oh, it’s the mothers that have the problem with me—not the dads.
When was the last time you made somebody cry, either from joy or sorrow?
Kim Fowley: Oh, that was last weekend. It was lots of women in a room trying to claim me for themselves. It was women vying for my attention and some felt that they were slighted and some felt that they weren’t getting the satisfaction they required and others wanted in on it and there weren’t enough body parts to go around so there was some crying.
What is the quickest way to a woman’s heart?
Kim Fowley: Listening to her.
What is the quickest way to a musician’s heart?
Kim Fowley: To offer them money and not cheat them.
What’s the worst thing you can do if you get money?
Kim Fowley: Be aggressive and abusive to people who don’t have as much.
What kind of mind is easiest to control?
Kim Fowley: An empty one.
What exactly did you give up when you put your humanity on the shelf?
Kim Fowley: Being average. The whole world is designed for the average person. Extreme people aren’t part of the business plan.
What is the function of the freak in society?
Kim Fowley: To die for our sins.
What message to the future do you leave in lieu of a biography?
Kim Fowley: To paraphrase Michael Todd, Elizabeth Taylor’s favorite husband, I’m an Oxford man posing as a mug. My own persona got in the way of my business and the business got in the way of my art and all of the extreme ways I operate caused me to be very alone the entire life I led.
How do you feel when people say they like your records?
Kim Fowley: The records have nothing to do with me.
You said once that all you did was make crappy records for crappy people—why did you stick with it?
Kim Fowley: I’m good at it.
What is your most practical skill?
Kim Fowley: Making women have orgasms whenever they need it.
How does it change a person once they’ve had a thousand orgasms?
Kim Fowley: They know what a sexual shit feels like. Remember, the most overrated thing in the world is a good fuck and the most underrated thing in the world is a good shit. No one’s disagreeing.
Do you think every band has one good song in them?
Kim Fowley: One-and-a-half good songs. Basically it’s their big brother’s record collection and they do a real good job stealing one of the riffs and they almost do a good job on the second song and then Mom calls for dinner and they have to stop. And that’s what they bring to an office. ‘Please produce us. This is what we sound like.’ And you hear that and you say, ‘Keep trying.’
Of all the people who you’ve seen in this world, who got famous in the worst way?
Kim Fowley: James Dean. He died too soon.
What do you think is the biggest lie about music?
Kim Fowley: That it matters.
What is the one thing that you would forbid people to discuss at your funeral?
Kim Fowley: Hm, that’s a good one. I can justify my bad behavior and sometimes somebody can’t justify my bad behavior so they get the end results wrong. So if bad behavior was discussed, there might be a legitimate reason for it existing and nobody would know it. And that would be a shame that nobody knew why the bad behavior was unleashed. Three years after I am found dead—within three to five years, I won’t be around anymore to be obnoxious or confuse people. My estate, whoever that ends up being, will be in charge of keeping the songs alive or keeping the money coming in or keeping the movies going out. Then there will be some work I did that wasn’t listened to during my lifetime that they will introduce on a posthumous level. Then people will say, ‘You mean he did that? Oh my God—listen to that stuff!’
How do you think you changed the world?
Kim Fowley: Oh, you didn’t ask me what I wanted to be remembered for.
What do you want to be remembered for?
Kim Fowley: I’m not going to be remembered for anything. The only people who are going to remember me are the ones who benefited from me or the ones who suffered because of me. After they’re dead if any of the product is still in the workplace and somebody likes it they might think, ‘Oh, I wonder who was involved in that?’ Other than that, I didn’t do anything to pay back the fact that I was here.
What is the best surprise you ever got?
Kim Fowley: Twenty-four hours after arriving in Hollywood with 22 cents, I sold a guy a song and made a few hundred dollars and found a place to live and a year after that I was number one in the world.
What’s the closest you ever came to killing somebody?
Kim Fowley: Well, I went beyond being close.
How far beyond?
Kim Fowley: Well, they lost. I thought you did your research. Well—it’s out there. I was a veteran, remember, of Army and Air Force. Ask those statistics and casualties.
Where was this?
Kim Fowley: Somebody was in the wrong place at the wrong time.
How does killing someone change your character?
Kim Fowley: It made me realize that I had power. I was confident anyway but when it came down to life and death, I got lucky. Go to the International War Crimes museum in Holland and read about me.
Do they mention you by name?
Kim Fowley: Yeah. It didn’t happen in America.
What have you been closer to in your life—sex or death?
Kim Fowley: Same thing, isn’t it? Springsteen. ‘I want to die in your arms tonight.’ The bridge of ‘Born to Run.’ There are all kinds of things that men are afraid of when the sun is coming up and the girl has a low pleasure threshold and has difficulty achieving orgasm and she says, ‘Come on, one more time, come on.’ Really, the male heart starts rushing and he might have cardiac arrest as she’s not getting off but she’s screaming at him to keep it going. There are women out there that twenty men with twenty magic wands couldn’t get anything going. They say when Theda Bara took on the USC football team that the guy who came closest to getting her off was John Wayne, so she said, ‘You oughta be in movies.’ She got him his first audition and that’s how he got in the movie business. It may have been another actress, but somebody of that vintage literally needed a football team to get off. So there are women like that. What was your question again?
That obliterated the question.
Kim Fowley: That was an urban legend. I was not alive in the 1920s when that may have happened.
What is something about you that is true that nobody would believe?
Kim Fowley: I cry at women’s movies. It was just this weekend. What was it? It was maybe the coming attraction for Kourtney Kardashian’s wedding. It made me cry tears of joy—the trailers for it. Because she found love and she got married and she really feels good about it.
What is the most happiness you’ve ever caused in someone?
Kim Fowley: My late attorney Walter E. Hearst said, ‘You have to dispose of certain funds because for legal reasons you have to dump some money—so find some people who are deserving.’ So a guy played me a song. He was Joey Covington and he was the drummer of Jefferson Airplane-Jefferson Starship-Hot Tuna and he had a really good song so I called him up and said, ‘Remember that song that you and a friend of yours co-wrote that the Starship are performing? Would you like me to publish it?’ And he said, ‘I need some money. What’s your advance?’ And I said, ‘Five grand, right now.’ And he fainted. He fell off the bed. He just passed out—he couldn’t believe it. And I sent him a check. And the last song that Jefferson Starship ever recorded was for a live album at a German festival where they had a riot and they burned all the recording equipment and all the tapes and my five thousand dollar song went up in flames. They never played another gig with that line-up. The song was never recorded again. It was never completed or mixed-down. I would have made a return on that.
Was that the most money you ever spent on nothing?
Kim Fowley: Possibly. But that guy was so happy he fainted.
What swindle are you proudest of pulling off?
Kim Fowley: Convincing your newspaper to interview me. It’s a shame that none of this can be permanent. The only thing that can be permanent is the work we do. As Alan Freed taught me, you can’t hide a hit but you can’t cover up a miss—so when you make something boring or something nobody likes, it could be used later. The song ‘The Trip’ by me failed forever and ever and ever and then it got used in Rocknrolla—Guy Ritchie’s movie—and it failed. But it didn’t fail in England so it looked like finally after 44 years that song was finally going to justify itself. And then the movie didn’t go anywhere. It was a good movie but it didn’t go anywhere like it could have or should have or might have and so the song still is a failure song.
Why do good things fail?
Kim Fowley: Depends on who’s putting out product at the same time. They say for every Elvis, for every Beatles, for every Nirvana, there is somebody better at that time. But none of us knew about them because they didn’t have all their wiring right and the people that were number one had all the ducks in a row. So the people who might’ve been better or more deserving were never seen because they didn’t have the whole recipe right to operate from.
What’s the best thing you ever let go?
Kim Fowley: Marianne Faithfull proposed marriage to me. In front of Princess Margaret’s husband Lord Snowdon. In 1964 she walked up to me and said, ‘Gene Pitney made me pregnant. He’s bony like you are, he’s thin like you are. I’ve always liked you. Become Mr. Marianne Faithfull—marry me and take the rap for the baby.’ And then I said, ‘No thank you.’ She’s the woman who said to Mick Jagger, ‘You sound like Kim Fowley’ and he slammed his limousine door on her friend. 1964. She later was Mick Jagger’s girlfriend and she wrote ‘Sister Morphine’ with him and Keith Richard. She became world famous. And so here’s what happened—she then married John Dunbar. John Dunbar two years later opened the art gallery where Yoko Ono had an art exhibit. That’s where John Lennon wandered in and saw Yoko and the rest is history. But the money for John’s gallery could have come from Marianne Faithfull. If I would have married Marianne Faithfull instead of John, then Yoko wouldn’t have had an art opening and the Beatles wouldn’t have split up and John might be alive today.
So you killed John Lennon?
Kim Fowley: No, it meant that John Lennon—a week before he met Yoko—had sex with Bridget Bardot when he was an actor in The Longest Day.
Did he tell you that?
Kim Fowley: I wont say a word. And he goes down to the south of France to make that movie and Bridget Bardot says come have dinner with me. Allegedly he had sex with her and it was the worst fuck of his life. The very next fuck of his life was Yoko, which was the best fuck of his life. Somewhere Bridget Bardot and Kim Fowley and John Lennon and Yoko and John Dunbar may have a six degrees of separation. Or maybe nothing. So I never became Mr. Marianne Faithfull and consequently John Dunbar really is the father of the child and maybe she just wanted to get laid. She said she was pregnant. I never knew that, but she did propose—and yes, she was tipsy. She wasn’t the first woman to propose to me—want me to name some names?
Who have you spurned?
Kim Fowley: Linda Ronstadt. I was living in Helsinki, Finland, and she wrote me two or three letters. ‘When you come home, I want to spend time with you.’
Did she put hearts over the I’s?
Kim Fowley: All that stuff. So I went to visit her and she was clean. And you must remember, in my appetite for sexual athletics, dirt is everything. And no dirt means I can’t get a hard-on. I want to see the anger. I’m a visualized orgasmic creature.
You got like a spotlight that comes on in there?
Kim Fowley: So I’m sitting with her thinking, ‘What a nice girl. What a nice pretty girl this is. Oh well. There’s no filth here.’
You didn’t take that as a project?
Kim Fowley: No. I don’t work for pussy. So guess who moves in? Who the next love of her life was? Jim Carrey. Look at Jim Carrey—tall and thin. Kim Fowley_tall and thin. Kim Fowley wears those Ace Ventura suits—there’s another name for you. How about Jerry Hall? Jerry Hall comes to the studio with Brian Ferry from Roxy Music—he’s auditioning me for a producer. He’d heard some of my work. He goes to the bathroom and she turns and goes, ‘I’ll fuck you. You’re scaring the shit out of this guy and there is no way he is going to be comfortable for you in the studio and you want to get laid. Tell me quick before he comes back.’ And I said, ‘You’re testing me.’ ‘No, I’m telling you I want to fuck you—isn’t that enough? Look! Jerry Hall!’ And I said, ‘Yup, but if I was Brian I would feel awful right now, so why don’t you look at me, figure out what you’re liking and the next guy you meet maybe he’ll be bony.’ And the next guy she met was Mick Jagger and as you know she had more than one child with him. If Kim Fowley had said yes, Elizabeth Jagger would not exist. Her daughter. Should I continue?
Who still pines for you after all this time?
Kim Fowley: Honestly? Would you hand me that piece of paper? I have 15 identities on MySpace. They start here and they go all the way to here. Then I have 5 on YouTube and I’m also on Facebook and I’m on Twitter. Anybody who would bother being my friend or talk to me on those sites, they’re all there. So I have all the people who jack off to me.
Why do people jack off to Kim Fowley?
Kim Fowley: They may have a rape fantasy, a punishment fantasy, they may have a death wish, they may have a persecution complex, they may have a Frankenstein fetish, they may want a mangled Bowie, they may want an older man thing, they may want a feminine man thing. There’s various categories. Garter-belt theories. Lipstick on men. All that stuff.
Ike Turner said life is a hole. You come out of a hole, breathe through a hole, eat through a hole…
Kim Fowley: Ok, let me paraphrase it. Life is a box. You come out of a box, you’re put into a crib, then you go into a car, a box with wheels, then you go to a school, a box with a desk, and then you go into a house with windows and doors and a toilet and people, and that’s a box and when you die they put you in a coffin and you go in the ground and that’s a box. So life is a box.
Let me tell you Ike’s final thing. Life is a hole, and the objective in life is to control the hole.
Kim Fowley: The objective of life is to live out your dreams. After this article is printed in physical form and digital form and the Mein Kampf part of it and the St. James Bible part of it and all the other parchment goes to all the people, there’ll be another moron you’ll interview—another genius, another pig, another marginal, another sensational man or woman or beast or child or machine who will sit and tell you their idea of truth and your listeners or your readers will watch it and read it and pretty soon you’ll be overwhelmed with all these people who have verbal diarrhea who have the need or the inclination to sit and discuss things that nobody cares to hear about because they’re having their own pain issues, their own dream issues, their own shame issues. Yet—with good editing and patient transcription—these missives from Kim Vincent Fowley might be the best you’ll ever read in this newspaper. In your lifetime, this could be all you ever get in the excellence department, so don’t throw this copy away. Download it. Get your scanner to work. Print it out. Put it in an old-fashioned loose leaf notebook and find out who Kim Fowley is. For your research on YouTube: Dollboy: The Movie; Satan of Silverlake; Golden Road to Nowhere; Sexual Frankenstein; Trailer Parks On Fire; Club Depression. All channels on YouTube. And then my tribute to my cat: Evil Pussy All Stars. If you really want to know about what I do, there it is. And if you have the patience to go around MySpace, you’ll find it. Because aren’t you as interesting as me? Of course you are. So why don’t you start building monuments so someday you can sit in a room like I’m doing and they’ll hang on every word and then you’ll read every word and it’s like a good morsel of food or meat and you chew it really slow and the shit afterward really is good and you fall asleep and you have dreams that are good. Because it’s the ego and the dream all packaged together like chocolate going down in goblets of pleasure. Learn how to have people care enough to share with them your tired shits or your enlightening dogma. Do I want to run for political office? No. Do I want to control anything? No. Do I have any ambition? None. So what’s the point? Getting you to stop what you’re doing to read and to think. Am I a threat? Nope. By the time you get around to being annoyed, I’ll have evaporated. You got off easy knowing me now. The younger version would have had a fistfight with you, won the fight, bought you a beer and taken you to the emergency room for stitches. Good luck in your life. Be sure and have a life. P.S. If Jim Morrison and Frank Zappa had lived, it would have been a very similar interview.

KIM FOWLEY’S ONE MAN’S TRASH AND ANOTHER MAN’S TREASURE COMPILATIONS ARE OUT NOW ON NORTON. THE RUNAWAYS RELEASES FRI., MAR. 19, ACROSS LOS ANGELES. VISIT KIM FOWLEY AT KIMFOWLEY.NET OR MYSPACE.COM/REALKIMFOWLEY.