IMAGINE THE BAND: SHIT AND PISS AND KILL
keenan marshall keller
Imagine The Band is a one-clearly-visible-man act consisting of many band members neither seen nor heard without the aid of the imagination. Egos Personos—singer, songwriter, choreographer, ventriloquist, motivator and presidential candidate for 2020—gave a short interview recently before he realized he was being secretly taped. Comedy act or case study in schizophrenia? You be the judge. This interview by John Henry.
I really love ‘The Commercial Song’ and the whole car theme—what kind of cars are you into?
Egos Personos: I love cars in general. I mainly love the asses of cars—I judge most cars by their ass probably because I’m an ass man. I look at the rear end of the car and that’s when I know I like the car. If it doesn’t have a badass, then it’s no deal. I like modern cars, old cars, foreign cars, American cars—I love cars. ‘The Commercial Song’ was in response to that dumb ass Pontiac commercial—‘Get on your Pontiac and drive drive Pontiac drive.’ I just thought it was so ridiculous. I think there should be more songs done specifically for cars and ‘drive your fucking Buick’ was the next best thing I figured to ‘get on your Pontiac and drive’.
Do you imagine the songs while driving your car?
I do have to imagine songs because there’s an ongoing thing since 1994 where every vehicle I’ve owned has not had a stereo. I lent my car to a friend to drive home from Washington state all the way to New Orleans and it got broken into and all my records from childhood and all my tools and all his shit… and ever since then every vehicle I’ve had for one reason or another has not had a stereo. The next vehicle after that was a ‘66 Chevy pick-up truck—of course no stereo. I had a motorcycle—no radio there—and my current car—a 1979 Honda Civic wagon first generation—has no radio. And I don’t plan on one because that’s where all the beautiful songs of Imagine The Band are written. Yeah, I love cars.
Do any of the Imagine The Band band members count as passengers when you’re in the carpool lane?
If they did I’d have fewer tickets when I drive through there. When I point to the rest of the band all squished in the Honda Civic, they don’t understand that. But they’re imaginary band members and they’re imaginary tickets so it doesn’t really matter. The rest of the band doesn’t really matter anyway. With a name like Egos Personos you know who’s really in control of this art project. No one—and all you kids out there should listen—no one should get involved in rock ‘n’ roll unless you’re an ego-fucking-maniac and ready to just shit and piss and kill to get to the top. That’s right. Make sure you’ve got a whole lot of insecurities and be packing a small pecker. Make sure you got picked on as a kid and never got laid and have mental disabilities you never dealt with and got beat by your parents—you know, basically harbor ill will towards your self. Then and only then will you achieve superstardom in any arena—not just rock ‘n’ roll. You’ve got to live in a closet for about 20 years and then and only then will you make it.
IMAGINE THE BAND WITH BEBE McPHERSON ON TUE., SEPT. 8, AT CLUB DING-A-LING AT THE HYPERION TAVERN, 1941 HYPERION AVE., SILVERLAKE. 9:30 PM / FREE / 21+. MYSPACE.COM/CLUBDINGALING. VISIT IMAGINE THE BAND AT MYSPACE.COM/EGOSPERSONOS.