BLOWFLY: WHITE WOMEN SMELT LIKE BILLY GOATS
Blowfly “Sesame Street”[audio:http://www.larecord.com/audio/blowfly-sesamestreet.mp3]
Blowfly is one of the original shit-talking recordings artists with an X-rated career dating back almost forty years. Blowfly’s tour manager explained before this interview: “Ask him specific questions. He will interview himself if he can.” He speaks now to Rebecca Balin about her mother.
Blowfly’s Voice Mail: It’s a weird world robotic and I’m your one-way ticket straight to pussy hell. Go ahead leave a message if you dare…
Blowfly: Hi, baby.
Do you mind giving me a visual of your surroundings?
I’m at the Highlight. That’s a game that they’ve been playing for years since the ’20s and you bet on it. It’s kinda weird. If you come down here, I’ll show it to you.
Do you constantly wear your costume? Are you wearing your mask right now?
It started way back… Well, first of all, I was born in Cochran, Georgia, in a house where thirteen babies had been born in it, black and white. My mother was married when she was 16 and I was born when she was 18. So they were telling her that this baby may not survive. So after four months old most babies say their first word, and I said my first word which was “nasty,” because I liked fried okra and they gave me boiled okra. And my grandmother spanked me.
Okra. Girl, you know I don’t like boiled okra. White women smelt like billy goats and black women smelled like fish, and I hated fish. I never eat fish, seafood, or chicken. I thought it was weird. So at four months I said my first word which was “nasty” and I was walking at six months…
I’m just confused as to how all the pussy and fish and the okra relates to your Blowfly costume.
Oh, I was just sayin’ as a baby they give you milk which means I was skinny cause I never liked milk, and it was kind of weird that my mother… (mumbles something)… But yeah most babies at four months they just go “wah wah wah” and I said “nasty” cause I don’t like boiled okra cause it’s stringing and slimy.
So okra was your first word?
No, “assty.” My grandmother tried to correct me and said, “No, baby, not ‘assty’—‘nasty.’” Because the okra looks like something that came out the ass. Of course she spanked me at four months and at six months or seven months I was walkin’, and I was talkin’ all kinds of shit then.
My first word was “Hello”.
Ha, ha—that’s nice. I went to school—I was a little kid and white girls loved me because I keep them laughin’. I would sing ‘Walkin’ The Floor Over You’ and of course I would change it to ‘I’m Jerkin My Dick Over You.’ And the white people would crack up. ‘Yes, Minnie Pearl?’ ‘Do you love me?’
‘Minnie, if you knew what I was doin’ now, you’d know I love you.’ ‘Well, what are you doin?’ ‘I’m lookin’ at your picture and I’m jerkin my dick over you—I jerk it until it’s black and blue—I’m jerkin my dick over you.’ White people just crack up—they love that. And I was five years old.
That whole story took place while you were five?
Do you think one of the main reasons that you are such a sensual being is because you were born on St. Valentine’s Day?
I think so. My mother was only 18 and the black and white people ring the bell at 12 o’clock for all the workers, black and white, to come out of the field and eat. And the bell was ringing when I came out my mother’s womb and they said I was laughin’. This granny lady came out and said, “Oh lord, he’s laughin? He’s from Satan.” Movin’ on up at seven years old my granddaddy passed. My mother had moved to Miami and I was in Georgia and I’m seven years old and my granddaddy died of cancer and the white people said, ‘We gonna have to throw you off the field, and give you six months to find another place to live cause there’s nobody that can work.’ I said, ‘Sir, I can work.’ And he said, ‘Now get yo’ lil’ nigga ass over there and sit down.’ So I started and they let us stay on the field… And the blacks ain’t making more than a dollar a day and if you’re a good worker you’re making $2 a day. I would go home with about $18 or $19 and my grandmother thought I was stealin’ and the white people came down and said, ‘Cindy, Clarence is not stealing the money.’ ‘Well how is he getting all this money?’ ‘Because he sings us these songs.’ And one day my grandmother found out what I was singing and she said, ‘You’re the most disgusting thing ever—look at you. You’re a disgrace to the black race and you’re no better than a blowfly.’
I don’t mean to cut you short but you’re telling me stuff that I already read. I am seeking the Exclusive Blowfly Interview.
I didn’t know what a blowfly was. Since some nice girl—my favorite one was Nelma Cross. She was born Valentine’s Day at twelve noon like me. She was about six years older than me, and she said ‘Junior?’ and I said ‘Yes?’ ‘You know what a blowfly is?’ I said ‘No.’ ‘Promise me you won’t get mad?’ I said, ‘I won’t get mad—I’m the world’s baddest nigga.’ She said, ‘A blowfly is a black and white and green and yella insect that lays on dead things and turns into maggots.’ Now I started to cry. She said, ‘I’m sorry I told you, but there’s a good side.’ And I said, “’How could there be a good side?’ She said ‘When the comets fall out of the sky and struck the earth, and killed all the dinosaurs,’ which they did, ‘life would never evolve, except blowflys came and laid eggs on the dead things that turn into maggots, and those maggots ate the germs up.’ And I start laughin’ and she says, ‘Oh my God, you ain’t gonna call yourself Blowfly, are you?’ And I said, ‘Yes. I am gonna call myself Blowfly.’ Do you remember a group called Bob Wills and the Texas Playboys?
No, I’m not familiar with them.
Yo’ mama or your dad would. I could yodel back then. The white boys—they’d be the one to go see Bob Wills. And they took me and Bob said ‘What do we have here?’ And they said, ‘This is Junior.’ ‘Well, hi Junior.’ And then I said, ‘Your name isn’t Bob Wills—it’s Bob Jill and those are the Texas Gay Boys.’ I call them gay because they could be broke, hungry, and cold, and they just be happy. So that’s how I got started. He must have given me like $40 or $50 ‘cause I kept him laughin’. By now my Grandma was got use to it. Now all of this is true. It can be checked.
Wait, I have some questions for you. I’m sure you’ve partied till the sun came up. You want to share a story about one of your crazy all nighters?
I’ve had some parties but I never drink or use drugs. So they’d be at those parties and I never drank or nothin’ like that. My friend Mike told me if I cleaned up after his parties for three months he’d let me do a free recording session. When I recorded ‘Rap Dirty’ it came out in Germany and I noticed if a guy has five girlfriends they call him a lover. A Casanova. And if you dated two men at once you were called a whore. I couldn’t understand it. So I came up with ‘Girls, You Can’t Do What The Guys Do’ and that’s how Blowfly got started. And then I still got a whole bunch of stuff you’re missing with 2 Live Crew. I was on the road and he was at this place and there was this song called ‘Rhinestone Cowboy.’ It’s not ‘Rhinestone Cowboy.’ Well, what is it? It’s ‘Rhinestone Black Dick.’
Are you serenading me, Blowfly?
They said ‘Why is Blowfly getting stuff from Wille Nelson?’ I was this redneck boy getting stuff to Fishbone and Red Hot Chili Peppers. And they say, ‘Clarence, Wille don’t like it…’ I said, ‘I ain’t recording this if Wille is gonna get pissed off.’ I said, ‘Give me a picture of Wille.’ And the picture they got was a picture of him on stage playing his guitar pointing at some white girls. I said, ‘You’re pointing at her butt.’ ‘I’m not but what if I was?’ I said, ‘I betcha singing “On The Road Again.”’ I just lucked out—that’s what he was singing. ‘What the fuck are you talkin’ about?’ I said, ‘You’re pointing at some white girl’s butt and singing “On the road again—I can’t wait to get on that road again, back on that highway with all the turns I’ve ever been…’ He just started cracking up. So how long have you been doing this dirty shit? Well, the first rap record I recorded was in the 50s and it was a record called…
Wait? Did you just ask yourself a question? You’re making my job easy.
Have you ever partied with Rick James?
Yeah. I knew him personally. I got this thing I got to explain this to you about. I’m religious. But I got this thing against ordained ministers having a record worse than the people they prayin’ for… Rick James didn’t steal from MC Hammer. Sampling is like raping somebody. I take your body and do whatever the fuck I want with it. [tape gap] And I said to her ‘Terrorists are bad, right?’ ‘Oh, they’re horrible. They beat up people.’ I said ‘That ain’t shit—they copy cats.’ ‘Whatcha mean?’ ‘John The Baptist in the Bible got his head cut off and served on a silver platter cause he wouldn’t fuck a dancer mothafucka!’
How is your music received in Europe?
I had a record I had out in 1980—When I Become President—and I had this song ‘First Black President’ and I ended up doing shit with my secretary, Miss Clit—what I called her. After that it was a coincidence that President Clinton and Monica Lewinsky did the same shit that I had on my record. It’s a coincidence, but the Germans thought that they copied me. And they don’t like nigger presidents and I was a nigger president and all that kind of shit. They loved that song. That’s why I’m so big in Germany. And they tell me, ‘What about Obama?’ And I say, ‘Well, he lives up to his name. He’s a fucking bomb.’ They want us to be comfortable with black and white, young and old, straight, gay and bi—Hillary’s the one to do it. He has ties to outside terrorists and if he becomes presidents a lot of scumbags ain’t gonna have no problem getting into America.
Did you ever take your mother or grandmother to Europe?
Well, my grandmother passed a few years ago, and I told my mother I wanted to take her but she’s kind of religious and she’d miss doing a lot of her praying out here. That reminds me of something. The preacher comes around and says to my mother, ‘Why don’t you do something about your scumbag son?’ My mother said, ‘I presume you’re talking about Blowfly?’ ‘Yes.’ My mother said, ‘Now let me see if I got this right. I got six sons. Who finished school, finished college, and played professional football.’ The preacher said, ‘Well, that’s great.’ Mother said, ‘No, it ain’t. They either dead or in prison because of drugs. Blowfly never drank, or smoked, or used drugs in his life. And you all want me to pray for him?’
I was doing some research and I noticed you also have some recordings under your birth name Clarence Reid. I feel it’s still very provocative but a little more wordy and clever.
A lot of people still don’t know of Clarence Reid and The Blowflys. In 1969 I had one of the biggest records in the country under Clarence Reid—‘I’m Doing My Thing For Nobody But You Babe.’ We were gonna get sued from the song ‘It’s Your Thing (Do What You Want To Do.)” That came out in about ’68, and mine… How could they sue me for stealing ‘Nobody But You’ for ‘It’s Your Thing’ in 1968 when I recorded mine on a two track in 1964? So I played the tape for them. In the early 60s Jackie Wilson—we called him ‘Pretty Boy.’ Women went crazy for him. He was on the James Brown show in Tampa, Florida—this is the truth—and for the first time he didn’t make any money. And he said ‘I can’t make the money you’re making if I’m a guest on your show.’ So he was a guest, and he got into it with James Brown. James said, ‘Hold up, I’m not talking to you, little punk.’ James Brown made some pretty good music. But yea—the 60s here, that was the key. He was big on blacks but he needed just to catch on the whites. He was on The Ed Sullivan Show. The first time James wasn’t the star. Some of your friends were. Mick Jagger, Keith Richard, and the Rolling Stones. And it was the first time I heard the words old school. James said, ‘Nobody wants to hear this old school shit—“Please, Please, Please”’
Here we have modern top-40 rap music today and here you are, the king of explicit content. What’s your take on rap music today?
I love you for asking this. You won’t believe the interviews I do. Millions of them and I’m not lying. You’re the first one that asked me that. And it’s because all rap music today is not rap. And they say ‘Well, Blowfly you started rap.’ I said, ‘No, I didn’t start rap. Rap goes back to 1943. Those hillbilly records—they didn’t call it rap then. They called it close-talkin’.’ These days what rappers call rap is not rap. It goes back to Africa—the Swahili tribe, and that’s not rap. That’s chanting. Gun fire, that’s rapping fire. They ain’t rappin’—they’re chantin’.
Do you want to tell us a bit about your upcoming records?
We got about two or three of them. Talking Dirty, Hard Rock and two live albums. One from Australia and one from Germany and some of those are burnin’ pussy. Before we leave I’m gonna put a curse on you.
Don’t you dare!
Wait! Wait! Wait! No curses allowed. No curses.
—You’ll have a little baby before this time next year. Over the mountains and over the sea, it will be pretty like you, but talk shit like me. When it come out of your womb it will leave the doctor’s hands bloody. When it looks at you it will say, ‘What the fuck is up, Mommay!’
Don’t put a curse on me and tell me I’m going to have a baby. If I end up having a baby next year because of your curse, I’m naming him Clarence. I’m naming after you, Blowfly, and I’m telling everyone you’re the daddy!
I’ll be the only one who will ever be able to get along with him.
You better take him fishing and pay your dues.
I’d glad to be his god dad. Whoever he is, whenever you have a kid. Don’t worry. Since you don’t want the curse I got to do it like this. ‘Witches sneeze and they cough, your beautiful womanhood is back on, the Blowfly having a baby curse is off… even though I wanted it to stay on.’
Thank you so much for the interview.
Hey, yo’ momma still around?
Yes, she is.
What’s her name?
Her name is Rochelle.
What horoscope sign is she?
She’s a Taurus.
To Rochelle—you are Taurus the bull, as evil as a bull, as strong as a bull, and between your legs you smell like a bull… your daughter made me and said it was, Rochelle! Ha ha ha!
BLOWFLY (WITH NORWOOD FROM FISHBONE) WITH ANTISEEN, ANGUS KHAN AND SUCKER STAR ON THUR., MAY 15, AT THE KNITTING FACTORY, 7021 HOLLYWOOD BLVD., HOLLYWOOD. 8 PM / $15 / ALL AGES. KNITTINGFACTORY.COM. VISIT BLOWFLY AT BLOWFLYMUSIC.COM.